So, this is what I'm thinking about today... Vanity. Vanity, to me, is a very interesting subject because I happen to be exceptionally vain. However, I do NOT happen to be exceptionally good-looking. But there are those days that I just look in the mirror and I think KA-POW, girlfriend you are SMOKIN'! I'm not sure what stars have to be in alignment in order for me to feel this way, but it's a good feeling. Still, over all -- I usually put about the same amount of effort into the end result and if it works, it works and if it doesn't, well what're you gonna do?? I only had so much to work with to begin with.

But sometimes I think that a lot of this vanity thing comes into play because we really do no have ANY idea how it is that other people see us. We think we look one way and we strive to continue to achieve that certain look. Yet, we see pictures of ourselves that do not look like we see them and we say "I'm just not photogenic." Implying that while we are attractive, for whatever reason we just don't develop well on film. Perhaps our beauty can't be captured?? I'm not sure. I myself often wonder what it is I really look like. And how much of my "appeal" (on good days, appeal) is based more on my personality than my actual looks. And how much in general we see other people not just solely as what they look like, but WHO they are. We spend so much time peeping and peering in the mirror and examining all of our faults that I think we forget to see that there's so much more to us than that shell... Some of my closest friends analyze every new wrinkle that comes to pass and how much weight they put on this week and ask me questions about the same... Do you notice that you have more lines around your mouth and eyes? Honestly, I don' t pay that close attention and I spend a LOT of time in front of the mirror. Sometimes, I think what I'm really searching for in that mirror is the key to who I really am. What it is that makes me tick. And why I have been blessed with the people in my life who love me the way that they do?? What's in this face that made them see me and think she deserves all this and more??

I'm all across the board. The mirror soul searching thing... It's an interesting thing. How often do we look in the mirror and make faces at ourselves to see what those faces look like? And practice important things we have to say? And just gaze and gaze and gaze. I find that I am doing it less and less now that I'm getting on in years (listen to me, like I'm 90 instead of 30) -- I find that what I look like doesn't matter to me so much as who I am. If I am happy with the person that I am, then what shell that person is wearing shouldn't really matter...

Of course, when I have to go shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding that's coming up, I may need to crank up that speech to myself a little bit more. But that's another blog! ;-)

kisses all,
HP