Saturday, September 23, 2006

I'm not a freak. I'm surprisingly not overly disappointed by this.

I mean, maybe I wish I was freakier. Maybe I could have been freakier if I had come from a different gene pool or had different life exposures.

What brought on this not-so-shocking revelation? We decided to go to the sex store tonight. It was totally random but Scott suggested it and I was like okay.

They've got weird stuff there. Things I am pretty sure I would not want to meet the person in whom they would fit. Like a life sized rubber fist.

Man sized fist.

Scary big fist.

And why are the costumes so darned expensive? I mean, they're really cheap quality and it's not like you have them on long. Do they charge that much because they can? Because they have to make up in price what they lack in volume of sales? It's puzzling. But it's just not worth $60 to me to be a naughty nurse.

I mean, maybe if I could charge someone whose money doesn't share a bank account with mine...

And then there was the porn. Wow. 7 levels of scary there. Old lady porn, porn filmed by secret camera, anal sex porn, fat girl porn -- who wants to see this?

Don't tell me -- I don't want to know.

Right now the only porn we have access to is the soft core Skin-a-max kind. Not enough sex and too much really bad story line. And I think I'm the only person lame enough to actually get sucked in to the bad story line and want to know how it turns out.

Speaking of which, Emanuelle and The Alien Sex Slaves is about to come on -- so I've got to dash.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

That's SOOO Funny/It's funny, because...
aka Conversational Tics you didn't realize you had

I am hoping to get organized AND motivated enough to write about this past bachelorette weekend. The problem with the motivation is that no one really GETS what we are like (and WHY) when we are together, so there is always background information that goes in to it.

So, instead I am going to tell you about a little conversational tic I like to call "that's SO funny."

Have you ever been around someone who said something that was funny enough to note the amusing factor, but not funny enough to laugh out loud? Or worse, have you been around someone who really felt that what they were saying was funny, you wanted to go along -- so you felt the need to acknowledge their attempt at humor?

Have you ever noticed how many times you say, "That's SO funny!" I think you will now. I've been studying it. Not sure how it got started or why it continues, but I really want to break it from my vocabulary.

There are many snafus to this plan though. One being -- what do you do with those amusing anecdotes that ARE amusing, but not quite amusing enough to laugh out loud? How do you get someone to discontinue a story that only they think is funny without being rude? It's a quagmire.

Second tic: "It's funny, because..." We open stories with this phrase, which I think is used in order to tie someone else's story into the story you actually wanted to share. After all, my favorite quote, "It may be us they wish to meet, but it's themselves they wish to talk about" works both ways. OR you need a reason to introduce an anecdote, but the only way to do so is by explaining that it's supposed to be funny and therefore somehow worthy.

Or that's all I can come up with so far as a reason.

This post isn't finished, but Julia demanded I put something else up. (See previous comment.)

I'll try to finish or write again this month.

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