Sometimes I wake up in the morning and it's like I'm looking for something. I spend the rest of the day looking for it. Looking for me, I think. I don't see me in this house and I don't see me in the world around. It's like that old joke -- I'm trying to find myself, have you seen me anywhere? Nothing's looks right or feels right or tastes right. And I just have to wait until the feeling dissipates and maybe the Matrix has taken over my brain again so I'm buying into the belief that I'm happy in my universe. But today is not one of those days. I blame the weather, I guess. I was looking forward to doing several outdoors type things this weekend (beer fest and an art show) and the weather has decided otherwise for me. It sucks. I'm not that creative.

Ok. Enough whining. I create my own happiness, I am the master of my domain. I rule me. I don't want to be mopey and I don't want to be crabby and irritated and ready to poke people with sharp objects. I want to be in a good mood. I will be in a good mood. I'm not going to let the atmospheric conditions (including grumpy boyfriends!) define who I am. It's just that simple. My desired state is happiness and that is what I am going to set out to do. Make myself happy. Non-chemically even!

HP