Sometimes I just want to re-name my blog "inside Heather's frustration w/S" but then there are other times that it should also aptly be called "inside Heather's adoration of S" -- it just depends on the day and sometimes, it depends on the thing he did or said.

Let me tell you a story. My godmother's former father-in-law (long story on why she's still close to him) lives next door. Everyone under the age of 60 calls him Papaw. He's 87 or more. He's been dating the same woman, Pauline, since the early 90's at least. She's probably 85. Apparently, they get on well together although she doesn't win friends and influence people on too many levels. For one thing, she's never had children so she's no good with them -- a bane to my godmother who adores her grandchildren. This is besides the point. Pauline and Papaw's relationship consists of a couple of things -- they travel together occasionally and every night at 5pm sharp they meet for dinner. That's it. They are both independent people of their own means and stubborn and apparently, marriage just isn't on the track for them. They'll never live together (especially now that she's moved into Westminster Canterbury and he refuses to go even though he's practically blind) and probably aren't in each other's wills. Most of their major decisions in life are factored in by weighing other people's thoughts and opinions, not each others.

And thus we have Heather's current life with S. Changed his whole house around without assistance because "you wouldn't have liked everything I did and I would have had to listen to it". Hm. Okay, that wasn't nice. And now he's heading off to retail therapy in DC where he promised to take me, just so he can go poke around. Ouch. THAT is frustrating, because there is no way for me to fully express that that hurts my feelings without sounding like a whiner. I AM a whiner and I hate that, but it's my fate. You have to work with what you're given.

I digress -- let me just say this (and no, I'm not just saying this because he stops by the blog sometimes): at all times I love the man to pieces, I really do. He makes me happy on a regular basis and spoils me pretty much rotten just as often; spoils me with the little things which are so much more important to me. He doesn't always "get" me, but to his credit he tries to -- most of the time. Some things he admits to not understanding and not even caring that he doesn't understand. Retail therapy without me is probably one of those things. But I ask you, gentle readers, is it so wrong to want some evidence that he wants me as part of his life, rather than just a satellite around it?

I'll leave with that thought for the day because the first day of work after 3 days off is looming over my head and it's going to be INSANE busy! Must go prepare by practicing my chipper "thanks for calling and waiting to speak with me for 20 minutes" voice. ;-)

HP