5 days without blogging is the longest -- I think -- since I first ventured into cyber-space. There's been good reason for my absence -- this weekend was my 30th birthday. A fact I'm sure has already been peppered through the blog. There was a party, of course, and it was full of all of the things we know and love about Heather and her parties: cool music, enforced shots, and loud booming laugh stuff. Unfortunately, I can't seem to be able write more about the party itself because there was mad drama (which LUCKILY most of the party patrons didn't fully realize) and because of my own foolish, drunk mouth I almost lost the man I love. Bad juju all around. Luckily, things are in the ironing out phase, and the elephant in the room was even exposed last night. I think it's going to be okay.

But let me just say this: there's nothing greater in this life than being given a second chance. By anyone. We're human and we do crazy, fucked up things as a result of the constant torrent of emotions and chemicals and just blood in general that go running through us. It's a lot to handle on even the best of days and let's face it: we are not always doing the best of days EVERY day, it is just not possible. It's been a long time since I have made a mistake that almost cost me as much as this last one did, and to see one that I hold dear hurt because of it -- it puts things in a kind of perspective that you will never get otherwise. And the thing is: if someone forgives you for something that you are willing to accept was wrong, then you owe it to them to keep doing everything you can to do right by them. How many times have every one of us been wronged by someone? A lot! And how often does that person actually come to us and apologize and admit they screwed up? A frighteningly small amount of time. And yet of those times that we have been asked (and granted) forgiveness -- how many times has that person then turned around and done us wrong again?? It's a big deal, the forgiveness thing. Because you can't help but think -- if I grant you this favor, if I give you this get out of jail free card -- how do I know you won't hurt me again?

You don't know. That's the thing. But it is the faith and the love that allowed you to forgive in the first place that keeps you going. You hope you stay true to yourself as much as you possibly can, while trying to keep in mind that you are joining your life with another person and that they have their own set of beliefs and values and they are roiling with their own potential screw-ups... You have to allow room for that person without sacrificing who you are. And you just don't know.

Trust me when I say that I could go on for pages about my thoughts on forgiveness and relationships in general, but if I want to continue to have occasional random visitors pop in, then I had best lighten up just a smidge!

Thanks for stopping -- I love your show!
HP