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No blogs for a couple of days because the Blogger has been grouchy and unwilling to inflict this on others. Still actually kinda grouchy but was lured from my grumbling in the cave by phonecall from friend... Not to mention that I hadn't blogged since Sunday and was starting to feel guilty because people actually check this stuff once in a while... So, whatever. Grouchy. I have come to realize that I have put on an excessive amout of weight recently and it would seem that the only thing I am willing to do to get rid of it is bitch. And piss and moan, don't forget. I feel like I'm lazy and I suck, but my friend says that the inertia is just a human characteristic. She then launched into lauding praise of her Pilates class at her gym.

Okay, what kind of friend is this? Does anyone not know that Pilates is evil?? The Devil brought Pilates to make fat people feel even MORE lame... It's advertised as this simple, low-impact, stretching thing. Bullshit -- then football is just a more advanced game of "keep away", right? (Okay, bad analogy because that is actually true.) Anyone that knows me has heard tale of my Pilates experience, but just to re-cap... I got sucked into an infomercial and bought the Winsor Pilates system. The video came and I was trying to follow along with the "modified" version, but this is just not easy because I am laying down and trying to get in just. the. right. position. and I can't see the tv and I'm breathing funny plus they keep hiding the "modified" girl because they are embarrassed. They keep showing the skinnier, stretchier girl over and over again. Okay, I'm thinking if I am skinny and stretchy then I can probably already do this -- show me the exercises designed for people for fake hips and bad knees and extra chins: that is me! But all was sailing along all right until I got to the Roll like a Ball thing. And I got stuck mid-roll and was then in the Die like a Bug position. After that I just drank beer and watched the video, but I was traumatized. Scarred, really.

My friend tries to convince me, I try to show her the light of other topics of conversation. I, as usual, prevailed. Finished our chat and then I went through my evening routine. Talked to S briefly (our phone time usually caps at about 20 minutes for a LENGTHY call), read some more Harry (I'm a slow reader but I am almost done), watched Sex and the City and came up to Blog. Got another call from another friend and found out there is some sort of Swinging undercurrent going on VA Beach. Not that I am interested personally, but it strikes me as bizarre that the person who fills my prescriptions at Rite Aid could be a Swinger and doing all kinds of bizarre things with other couples. I personally think it is hard enough to deal with someone's sexual history (I'm STILL scarred by an incident that S let slip one night) without the blatant knowledge that it is equivalent to the phone book -- and it's couples. Ick. NOT my thing and I want to think that I'm not prudish but am willing to accept that I am...

My friend and I had an interesting chat about that and it somehow segued into my current lament about my weight situation. To which she asked -- have you tried Pilates?

To which I replied, have you tried listening to this lovely humming noise my phone makes when I hang it up??

xoxo,
HP