as if Hallmark NEEDED another marketing idea

I had the MOST wonderful idea tonight... I remember when I was a little girl Hallmark used to give you this little calendar with all of the holidays on it. And there was always a list in the back for the birthstones for each month and the "traditonal" gift for each wedding anniversary. Remember this? One year was paper and five years was something... I didn't make it to five so I don't really remember what it was supposed to be for! ;-)

Anyways, I think someone should come up with a list like this for men. Like the appropriate gift to give your significant other for each possible minor offense. I came up with a list of appropriate gifts/penances but I can't really come up with their matching offenses...

For example, a minor offense would require an unexpected phone call with words of wooing. ("I love you more than beer, baby!") The stereotypes of flowers and jewelry work too. But, never underestimate the power of the single red rose and a spontaneous offer of a candy necklace is generally touching in a goofy way. Somewhat more serious offenses would require massages and unsolicited foot rubs. An offer to watch that chick flick you've been dying to see but he knows you'll wind up bawling over so he won't go. Volunteering to go for a walk on the beach. Neck kisses can work here too, if the offense isn't TOO serious.

It's never a bad idea to ask your girlfriend if she's lost weight or done something different with her hair. LOOK at those great shoes she has on, don't they accent her beautiful pedicure? (Pretend you're gay.)

But, your major offenses -- they require the kind of grand, sweeping gestures you only see in the kind of movies that make your girlfriend weepy. Karaoke "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" in the middle of crowd of people. Miss your flight to Rome just to hold her hand once more. Grab her in a sweeping hug and ::::whooosh::: her back for big smacky kisses on grand swirling staircases. Stand in the rain with a jukebox playing sappy songs.

Offer to take her to breakfast or lunch or drinks or a movie -- as long as you both shall live. ;-)

Or maybe just send a Hallmark card, which would probably be the bottom line in their list of relationship problem-solvers!

-hp

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