The X Factor

Have you ever been compared to someone's ex? Have you ever compared someone to YOUR ex? Don't do it. And if it happens to you, try to act like your kitchen's on fire so you can get out of the conversation because nothing good is coming thereafter. Especially not in the mental arena.

At least I've never been called by an ex'es name in the throes of passion, THAT would really freak me out. I'd have to just take my handcuffs and go on home.

It's debilitating. And while I know, rationally, that the comparison was based on sensory responses that I have no control over, I still was a fairly UNhappy camper. [Sidebar: WHERE did this expression come from? Do campers achieve some sort of super-level of happiness that other outdoor activity participants do not? What's up?]

You know, we all have our baggage. Sometimes we don't realize that we're carrying things around until something triggers a response. That's just how life is sometimes -- sneaks up on you and the surprises aren't always pleasant. And it's how we deal with these moments that defines our TRUE character. We get in relationships with people for specific reasons with certain desired operating states in mind. Sometimes things proceed according to our mental plan, but more often than not they do not. We deal. But the thing is that as we get older we are more and more likely to be drawn to the same basic kinds of people for some of the same basic reasons. We're looking for something and for some reason (science, nature, nurture, the planets alignment -- whatever) we keep looking for it in the same kind of personalities. Don't hold your current partner responsible for their similarities to your past. It's not their fault!

All we really need is the "missing half of this golden amulet" and we're set...

gotta jet -- love you, mean it
-HP