Now this stuff might have to be good...

Thanks to my 511 buddy for starting out the shout-out process, TOO fun! (Of course, I am TOO geeky but that is just so not the point anymore) But now this stuff might actually have to have some quality and substance and MATERIAL! Not to mention actual humor and maybe even some big words. If people are going to be able to comment on the inside of MY head, then I better pretend like there's quality stuff in there. But maybe we'll start with the next post, huh?

So, what I'm wondering now is how do you meet women to be friends with when you are an adult?? I never realized this was such a process. When I was younger and still in high school (speaking of HS nostalgia, eh 511?), it was easy. You had classes with the same people and you naturally drifted towards them. Particularly, in my case, people who had similar last names because of the wonderful alphabet seating. Hence, HP2. And you have your neighbors, because they're close and in the same age group so you hang with them too. (See below blog about the Block <- alliteration!) And then you gradually broaden your circle to include your friend's friends, which is how I met 511. I missed out on the whole college version of this game, but I imagine it's a bit similar.

But, then as you get older -- that's when it gets more complicated. I don't talk to my neighbors because I'm not home much and then that leaves work. At my last job, I had developed a bit of a big fish/medium pond thing. I knew a reasonable amount of women and we hung out sometimes. But that's the nature of work relationships -- most of the time, it's centered on the job. You talk about other things, but always that common bond is the job. So, when that changed, I have found that it's hard to develop NEW friendships at this new job because it's such an extreme call center. Everyone's just chained to the phone all the time and I seldom meet people outside of my little area. And then, you have the ADDED constraint that you're just not going to be friends with every woman you meet who's in your little world, because hello? They have lives, they have ideas and thoughts of their own and not everyone is willing to drink the Kool-Aid, you know? But, you do what you can. I never seem to have QUITE the same problems becoming friends with men, but frankly I miss the women. I miss the sense of power and insight that I get when I am talking to a group of women, particularly women who have common interests and backgrounds. This is not always easy because my background is SCREWY!

But then AGAIN, it gets more complicated. Because whenever I DO meet a woman that I want to hang out with, there is a mild sense of terror that is associated with dating that goes along with it. What if she doesn't like me? What if she doesn't want to hang out? Will she think I'm fat and expect me to work out? Will I? I can't ever figure out how to say, "let's hang out" without feeling like a lesbian stalker. I'm sure that few people would associate me with a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that), I'm just saying that I don't want to scare anyone. I am very sure that this feeling is just MILDLY related to my low self-esteem issue, but one topic at a time, okay?

[Sidebar: Speaking of my low self-esteem, I'm getting so fat that I am starting to find things in my chin wrinkles. Like, "THAT'S where that potato chip went" kind of discoveries. THIS is scary, I really may have to exercise after all... Yeah, right.]

Anyways. I could go into a whole stand-up about the lesbian stalker thing but I'm a little tired and hungry so I'm going to go focus on THAT. Maybe next time...