What a long strange trip today has been inside my head!!

I guess I'll work backwards because that's what's forefront on my mind... For those of you not aware of my MOST guilty pleasure it's the MTV reality shows -- Real World especially. But tonight I got sucked into Sorority Life and Fraternity Life. And it was just so outrageously, slap me in the head awful good that I was talking out loud to the tv. (Ok, I do this a lot. I'm single -- I live alone, and some things are just TOO outray to internalize, I'm sorry) The thing that just totally gets me wrought is the TOTAL young, dumb cute aspect. You think you can get away with SO much because you're YDC and most of the time, well -- you're right. So, here's what happened... First we see the Sorority pledge, poor little Nicole. The girl is going nuts over this pledge guy Tim. So the Sorority show is of course focusing on her side. She's trying to make him jealous by flirting with other guys (ingenious and mature dating tactic, she probably read the damned Rules) -- and she's asserting in the confessional (if you think this is just a Catholic thing, you need to get cable and watch MTV, it's just that simple) that she's NOT going to call him anymore and she is NOT going to do all the work. You know, all that bullshit stuff you promise yourself that you NEVER follow through with. Ok. So he comes over and the background stuff is "I know he's going to kiss me, it's time for it, it's ripe for it" And she is doing ALLLLLLLL the stuff -- every single "look at me -- look at how kissable I am" trick. She might as well be wearing a sign, but she doesn't know that because she's in it. And I think about me and ALLLLL of the times I have done all of that exact same shit and I wonder. Was it really that obvious?? It's painful to see. So, whatever -- he SO does not kiss her and just teases her with the kiss on the cheek and she's like a disaster. (Look at how many "likes" I have -- this stuff is like cotton candy for your brain!)

So, in our next half hour we have Fraternity Life and it's Tim's side. Guess what?? Wonder of wonders -- he doesn't like her and he's just a prick about it. He's all if she doesn't know I don't like her then she's just dumb. Well, of course she's dumb sweetie -- did you ever come out and just TELL her that you don't like her "like that" and just want to be friends? No!!! Men are just SO awful when it comes to this. I don't want to go into the stereotypes but women are such products of their hormones that it's not even funny. If we're interested in a guy and they even raise an eyebrow, then reason is OUT the window. And Tim just perpetuates (I needed a $3 word to make up for all the likes) this stereotype that men just expect women to know how they feel about things based on some secret code.* Look, I left my secret decoder ring at the office okay! Just TELL me how you feel -- I would rather have you rip my heart out and eat it in front of me then have you give me vague statements like "i'm just really stressed out and I'm just not ready for a relationship." Let me tell you something: any woman who's clinging the way poor stalking (and she is a stalker -- and frankly it's obnoxious, but only because I KNOW that he's not interested and she doesn't!) Nicole is will take any crack in the brick wall and tear at it. You can see her thinking -- he's not ready for a relationship because he's pledging and it's stressful, but once that's over with then I'll have been here all along, bringing him breakfast bright and early in the morning (which by the way she did once 2 minutes after the stripper he just banged left!)

(*Maybe men send off body signals as a means of demonstrating their feelings because THEY are visual, thus thinking WE are visual and able to read these signals. Hmmm...)

Nicole disturbs me because I have been Nicole. I have brought someone breakfast 2 minutes after they just banged someone. Probably on more occasions than I even realize. Maybe not *2* minutes but you get my point. Scary scary stuff!

And it's funny too b/c this righteous indignation can live in my body with my complete relationship bliss day. That's how multi-faceted I am, folks! Won't get into specs, but have had some bumpy days with S. Frankly, I should just say to the boy -- look at the calendar, IT'S HERE -- just work it out. Listen to me, agree with me, buy me shit and wait til the floooow. Because then it's over. It's just a few days, you know? Things could be worse. (I know, if you are a man it's hard to imagine this) Anyways, I wanted to do something nice -- you know, to show that I'm not always rampage-y question everything girl. So, I sent flowers. I know, I know -- I lack imagination, it's sad. What do you send? Beer? A stripper? Weed? Not gonna happen! So, he leaves me this awesome message and just swept me off my feet. I was literally teary listening to it. No, I'm NOT going to tell you -- my loyal 3 readers -- what it said. Doesn't matter, just made me really really happy. ANYTHING could have happened after that and I would have just coasted it. Like, I finally understood that stupid Thank You song, it was that cool. Yeah, my house is burning down but did you HEAR this message? Yeah, I know. No, you can't have him -- he's MINE!

Well, I had all of this way cool Heather's head stuff to spew out but as it turns out now I'm just thinking about the message and I've got nothing left. So, I will leave you with our dear Tim's PROFOUND final thought: sometimes the right time to be in a relationship is when you WANT to be in one, not when you NEED to be in one.

Deep stuff, Tim -- your mom would be proud!

kisses,
HP