I hope that my presence wasn't too sorely missed over the weekend, I was down in the Outer Banks chilling with S and a friend from work. It was an interesting weekend on several fronts and I am not actually going to chronicle that much of it, because there's only a little bit that may put me in a positive light and we all KNOW that I am not about that. Well, that's not true -- I'll be the first to tell negative stories about myself, but some things even I will keep private. Believe it or not.

So, without all of the LURID details of my weekend (another beautiful thing about not sharing information is that you can make it seem so much more interesting than it really is by virtue of the fact that info is witheld), I don't have much to add. I'm just plodding along until my 30th birthday and I officially roll over that hill! I'm not even all that pressed about that event -- it's just another birthday. There will be a party and there will be drinking and friends and I will, of course, have a fabulous time. Everything is not going to change in the world because there's another candle on the cake. I know that I always WANT it to be different, for my birthday to be this grand momentous occasion -- but I have found that if I approach these things with THAT level of expectation that I am just setting myself up for disappointment. I just expect average. If things happen beyond that, well -- great! And it's not often that things fall BELOW that mark, so I'm usually pleasantly surprised. I try to approach MOST things with this view, but when I have vocalized this sentiment in the past I have been accused of cynicism and "meanness." I do not understand this. I look at it like this: if I were going to work and my boss merely expected me to do so okay work, then whatever I did BEYOND that would merit me greater benefits. It's the same with relationships -- not just with S, but my friendships too -- if I don't expect TOO much (which I struggle with, because I do expect A LOT) then I am generally pleased with the return. How is this a bad thing?

I have stolen the phrase "I am a work in progress" from my boss. I'm trying to learn to think in this manner and not expect my life to be "done." I will some day have a house that's more organized (maybe not House Beautiful ready, but organized) and I will some day tap into my passion and I will develop skills that further my career but those things don't have to be done NOW. As long as I don't give up the expectation that these are things that can be accomplished and if I can just friggin stop beating myself up ALL the time, then my work will progress!

Godspeed --
HP