I'm trapped in a Jim Carey movie

So, here I am. Waiting for the cable guy. Again. I readily admit that yesterday's waiting was not in fact the cable guy's fault, but my own stupidity. But today? All on the cable guy. Where is this guy? What is he DOING? What's he just getting done with his 10pm call last night? "I'm sorry Mrs. Robinson but I really need to get going now. It's not right!" I find it difficult to believe that he had an appointment prior to 8 am -- what kind of sadist comes before the sun does?

And speaking of sadism (nice segue, huh?)...THE CABLE GUY IS HERE! I haven't been this excited that someone was coming over since I was a kid and believed in Santa Claus -- which was starting to feel a lot more probable than the Cable Guy!!

Anyways, speaking of sadism -- ran across this fun little article about a new exercise phenomenon known as "slavercise" in Yahoo news of the weird or something.

No Pain, No Gain Has New Meaning
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030416/od_nm/slavercise_dc

Basically, (in case I still can't paste links and in case you just don't feel like linking over) the gist is that you go to this class and this Dominatrix bullies you into working out by threatening you with whips and stuff. Plus, you're wearing a dog collar and leather the whole time! I think this sounds HOT! First of all, I'm secretly into kinky as much as the next gal and the added dimension of getting to lose weight while doing it -- who could possibly resist? Unfortunately, I don't think that anything that risque will be crawling into the Va Beach area any time soon. I could be wrong. Maybe there's a large undercurrent of sado-robics going on and I just don't feel the pulse of it because I'm just a little too boring for that.

You know, it's just really weird to be writing about domination with the cable guy traipsing through my house. Not that HE has any idea what I'm writing about. He just thinks I'm some weird, turbaned lady who's probably writing home with recipe requests. What if I were somebody from a movie who was sitting here typing away about how I couldn't wait to corner him and butcher him to his bloody death? How many cable guys disappear every year because frustrated patrons, tired of waiting, just can't take it anymore and they whack the guy when he gets there? Are there statistics on these things? Are they required to carry extra insurance for that? And if so, who's their agent?? Does MY insurance company offer anything like that? Do they carry weapons in case something like that happens? Even if it's just pepper spray? Do they have support groups for cable guys, missing in action?

THESE are the things that I wonder about -- not: if "they" had weapons of mass destruction really then why didn't they break them out while we were bombing the crap out of them? I don't worry about things like that because apparently, it's un-American to wonder about them and I am as apple pie loving as the next girl!

God bless us, every one!
HP