And welcome to Monday! I hate Mondays but at least they go by kinda fast...

Here a few random things that have ALREADY happened across my radar today. First of all, you know how sometimes you're driving behind someone in a frou frou car and they are driving like SHIT and you're thinking -- dude, WHY did you spend all of that money on that car and not invest something into learning how to drive?! Well, today I learned that the answer MAY be -- it's not their car! Through a series of events that (surprise!) were surrounded by me being too messed up to get my own car, I wound up at S's house yesterday without my car. Luckily, he has multiple cars to choose from, so I knew I had transportation home. Problem was that only car with gas in it was the Jag. I am not comfortable driving someone else's car period much less driving it when the person who OWNS the car isn't in it too MUCH LESS when I cannot really see over the steering wheel. That, from what I vaguely recall from drivers ed, is one of the fundamental things about driving -- the ability to see over the wheel and to the road beyond. Freaky! I drove like a grandma -- not only because I was driving so slow for fear of hurting the car but also because I had to sit on the edge of my seat trying to hoist up over the steering wheel. So, the next time you're cussing out that guy driving weird and poorly in his Beemer, just remember: he may have a crappy Kia at home but had to borrow his girlfriend's car! Give that guy a break and DON'T flick him, just this one time!

And speaking of girlfriends... Super funny thing happened to my friend. Well, okay I thought it was super funny and it's my blog so there you go. If y'all don't think it's that funny, go get your own blog and bitch about my unfunny stuff. Lord knows there's enough unfunny stuff in my previous entries to warrant a complaint!! Anyhoo -- friend's been dating the same guy for about a month or so now. And as legend has it, he apparently snuggled in late Friday and asked her to make it official -- let him start saying she was HIS GIRL! His girl? I had to have this phrase repeated a couple of times as I hadn't heard anyone say it since, I don't know, HIGH SCHOOL! I can't imagine anyone saying that to me without knowing that they would be verbally assaulted. What? I have been giving the booty away all this time while I was UNOFFICIALLY your girl? Does that mean you've been auditioning other girls? Do they give you blowjobs too? Are they girls in training? Sitting and warming up on the backburner? Does "official girl" status entitle me to any additional perks? Is that like making it through the first 90 days of your new job? I'm no longer on probation and I get to have PMS and a full range of emotions now??

Crazy stuff and I could rant for a few more minutes about that but my time before work draws to a close and I have to go deal with the turban of hair on my head and try to make my face worth looking at... I will say this: there's NOTHING wrong with having "the talk" about where you stand and verifying that the other person wants to be exclusive and all that, but "my girl"??

To be taken with a grain of salt, since my boyfriend has officially dubbed me -- along with all of his former girlfriends I'm sure -- his ho. So, maybe being "my girl" wouldn't be so cheesy after that! Nah. Might as well own up to my ho-dom!

But I'm forever YOUR girl!
HP