Tips on how to get booty from Heather -- as inspired by Average Joe

Well, not really. But it seemed like a nice title. And there are some things that I realize about the beautiful Melana that I see in myself. Not the beautiful part, to be sure. But, I have often been seen as the cute, kinda ditzy (in a bitingly sarcastic way) girl. The party girl. I've never really been taken very seriously and a large part of that is the image that I project. I accept that I have created that fate... But. It's nice when I am taken seriously. When people listen to my opinions. Especially men. One of the things that initially attracted me to Scott was how he would talk to me about everything and actually seem to seek my opinion. And furthermore, actually seem to listen to my opinion and value it. That meant a lot to me, because I see him as being this incredibly smart guy who knows a lot about a lot of things.

I see this in Melana too. That she is attracted to the guys who treat her as something more than a beautiful girl. Tareq (far and away the intellectual "snob" of the group -- he's only 21 and is working on the dissertation for his Ph.D and has already been to over 60 countries) basically secured his spot in the final 6 when he said, "It is the simplicity of your complexity that is the catalyst for my attraction to you." Sure, he ate a dictionary for breakfast and was obviously burping it up, but that's just a sexy thing to say to someone. HP2 says that it was just a bullshit line -- and I say DUH! They're all bullshit lines, men just want to get in your pants until they're in them. They will say whatever they need to to get there. Then they cease trotting out the good lines until they want to get in your pants again. I'm honestly not even bitter about this anymore. I wish that it were possible to keep the lines in a bottle so you could open the bottle later on when the lines are few and far between, but it just doesn't work like that.

Anyways... I've veered way off course. The only major surprise is going to be is if she doesn't wind up with Zach. He's pretty much the stand-out of the group because he's pretty attractive. Most of these other guys were the ones who were (admittedly) picked last for most events in gym class and who've battled being different their whole lives -- he's the one they've been battling against. It's just that simple. And he's going to win again. She "feels natural" with him. Of course, he's attractive -- she's attractive. They have this connection over their chemistry. It's depressing. You want the Underdog to win the pretty girl and you just know it's not going to happen. I feel like that underdogs got cheated when the producers slipped in one purebred dog. His only redeeming quality is that he got all choked up when Dennis got voted off...

Ah, Dennis. He was EVERYONE'S favorite underdog. (Everyone except for Brad, the back-stabbing whacko who should've been cut.) He was a bit older than most of the other guys, his teeth were all the same size, and he was mostly deaf in both ears. I have a soft spot for people with hearing problems, I can't help it. Plus, he was just such a sweet guy. He would've given anything to help anyone. He even washed one of the guy's shirts in the first episode when Zach the Jerk cracked an egg on his head. (THAT guy got voted off tonight too -- he admitted to dunking Zach's toothbrush in the toilet the morning after that incident. Good!)

Yeah. I'm WAY too into this shit. Right now, I don't really have a favorite guy remaining. I was rooting pretty hard for John -- until he launched into his Vienna Boys Choir routine around the campfire. He was trying WAY too hard and it's painful. Particularly because Melana is never going to be mean to his face, but makes some disparaging comments on camera when they're not together. It was a slight mystery why she kept him, but I think it's just the guilt of the rejection. He's obviously so into her and she couldn't really care less. So, I guess I'm leaning towards Adam. Only because he made a very slight comment about how he was the one who was always picked last in gym class and how hard the rock-climbing date was for him. He really tried to do it and just couldn't make it. I related to that. He wasn't overly crushed by it but he wasn't trying to justify it either. So, we didn't really get more insight into him than that -- but I'm hoping he opens up more. John's going to have to work hard to overcome his over-eagerness. That's not something that's going to work on a girl like THAT (it works on me like a charm, but then again -- I've never really had anyone who was over-eager to be with me so maybe I just think it would work on me.), but then again who knows?

I have SO got to get a hobby. One thing I WAS right about -- she saved all the fat guys last time so she could eliminate 'em this time. No one over 200 lbs is left. It's kind of sad.

I'm off to concoct some more Average theories.