Absence makes the heart grow... neurotic?
-for HP2

My dear friend HP2 (who really needs to come out of the closet and get a name, though it's kind of fun to call her HP2 because by default that means I'm HP*1*!) shares many of my love hang-ups. In fact, she's the main reason I survive most of my love crises, because she's so much like me that she makes me feel less kookie. After all, how kookie can I be if someone else is like me too??

She was separated from her boyfriend for the last week and it caused her no small amount of strife because of their minimal contact. It was my turn to be in the reassuring role this time by advising her that "love makes the heart grow fonder" is indeed crap and in all reality, absence makes the heart grow more neurotic.

Some of my own reactions when separated for more than a little while from my beloved... I will frequently check my cell phone to see if there are any messages. When there are no messages, I think that he must have left messages for me on my HOME phone. I check that too. No messges there, either. Well, it MUST be because he was planning to send me endearing emails in our absence. Nope. No emails either. By now, I'm completely overwrought. It's next to impossible not to get in touch in this day of extreme communication, so what can the answer be?

CARRIER PIGEON! I scan the skies for birds carrying messages of devotion with little capsules of the tears he's shedding from not being with me.

No birds anywhere.

Frankly, by now I'm so annoyed that I don't even miss him because I'm just angry that he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him. He probably has the NERVE to be out having a good time while we're apart. I mean, yeah -- I'm out doing stuff and having fun, but I'm talking about him while I'm doing it! And he can't even send a carrier pigeon, for pity's sake.

Of course, inevitably he will call in a perfectly normal amount of time but I'm so underwhelmed by the dearth of previous contacts that it takes me a minute to realize that the one thing I was pining and hoping for is finally happening. I'm snippy and non-committal. He's left wondering why he bothered to call.

It's an ugly circle and there's really no easy way to get around it. After all, if we didn't have our time apart we couldn't better appreciate our time together, right?

Of course, the neuroses kind of create the need for separation but really, how can you say if it's the chicken or the egg really?