Thursday, November 06, 2003

Am I blue? So what if I am??

I would like to think that I am the kind of person who takes disappointment well. There's the initial reaction of shock and disappointment, which is followed closely by drinking and chain-smoking which is gradually followed by passing out, hangover then acceptance. (I'm mostly kidding.)

I guess it depends on the level of disappointment. Minor things I take in stride pretty well, I think. I do some whining, bitching, moaning and complaining. Often will get a little teary but usually pretty fiery. And then I make my peace with whatever the disappointing thing is and move on. Although, it will typically take a little while for the snarky comments post-disappointment to drop. Sarcasm is my defense mechanism of choice, accept THAT or please keep moving. This is not the booth for you.

So, I've had a couple of minor disappointments in a row and so my game is a little off. Add a dash of PMS and you have Heather who is in need of a quart of Ben & Jerry's and big hugs. Awww.... Poor Heather -- you deserve better than these minor disappointments, don't you??

I admit it, I like to be mollycoddled sometimes. I do not view this as a character flaw. I do not look on pity as being a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be pitied daily. There's no need for that. I have food (well, questionable -- but I have phone service so I can always dial Papa John's), shelter, employment, blah blah blah...

But then again, don't you hate that shit too? People trying to point out your damned silver linings when you just want to have a pity me day? Can't they just let it go for ONE day? If I am still pouting 24 hours after initial receipt of minorly disappointing news, then YES! Wrap me up in my silver linings and hang me from the rafters for not appreciating them, but can you give me a minute?? Is it so wrong for me to feel disappointment? Just because the stuff that happens isn't catastrophically awful doesn't mean that I can't feel a little bit bad about it, right? I'm entitled. No one begrudges me the other range of emotions when BIG things happen, right? The minor things deserve to be recognized. They've done their part to interrupt your life a little, you deserve to show them their propers by being a little down.

I'm not going to justify it any longer. It is what it is. I'm having a pout and that's all. I'll be pout free and back to my typical Pollyanna with serious attitude tomorrow.

But tonight -- funk city! <--- Was that a disco song? If not, we should revive disco just so we can write it!

HP

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