"sunshine coming out of your ass"

Sometimes I think rain is God's way of being melodramatic. (I don't care about the meteorological explanation for rain -- I think that pollen is flammable for pity's sake. Don't ask.)

God looks down from his little vantage point and sees us little humans living our little human lives and not appreciating all the sunshine we've got coming out of our asses... So, he thinks, "Piss on you for just expecting me to HAND you all this useless beauty."

And then he does.

I've gone and found my own silver lining at a fairly ironic time... It's like this... I have these bumps and frustrations and bullshit in my life to appreciate how great my life was before. I wasn't unhappy before these things happen and I have to step back and realize that this one thing hasn't completely upset my universe to the point that I can't be happy ever again. I'm just not extremely happy right now. That's all.

And that's okay. Believe it or not, I do not expect to be happy all of the time. I like it when I am, I don't like it when I'm not -- I think that's normal. I don't feel like I've been "cheated" when I'm not happy. I just want the happy part to start up again.

And you know what? It usually does. Tony Kahlua will make a joke an unexpected time. Rose will call when I'm not expecting it. Scout actually makes plans and sticks to them. A customer will be particularly friendly and appreciative of my help. Scott will ask me if I've lost weight.

I'm a drama queen. I don't like it. I've toned it down A LOT, and there are many who have (somehow) lived through some of my high drama days who can tell the tale about how much more dramatic I have been. The work disappointments that threw me into black moods that would last for weeks. The break-ups that I didn't want to get out of bed over, sometimes so much so that I would pop a few Tylenol PM in the morning to prevent myself from waking up. The fights with friends that pretty much kept Verizon in business because of all the back and forth sharing of details. Drama drama drama.

I hate it. You hate it. They hate it. But, it's a gene that never really dies. It calms down with age. But PMS and 2 or 3 other silly things in a row can cause it to perk its head up, adjust its tiara and say, "You called?"

But, piss on it. The sun's gonna shine out of my behind one way or another. And if the people stare, then the people stare. I really don't know, I really don't care.

Sorry, those Smiths' references will get the better of you, won't they?

So, the next time it's raining and you're crabby and owly because you're wishing you could just go outside without having to get cold and soaked... Well, appreciate all the days it wasn't raining before that, okay?

I know I will.