Too Much Information

I think that most male readers will avert their eyes and run screaming from the room at my next statement -- I would like to apologize in advance.

My period starts tomorrow.

You (especially if you are a man reading this who has not as yet run screaming from the room) would think this would be a time of some level of turmoil and angst, but in fact -- this is usually the BEST time of the cycle. Here are a few reasons why... The dreaded time has arrived and you can focus on other things, instead of having to mentally feel the inside of your panties and assess their level of damage at 2pm to see if the Arrival has occured. You can stop peeing every 17 minutes, which makes your boss stop eyeing the amount of liquid you consume. The bloating starts the reversal process (thanks to all that peeing!) and you can cease feeling like any minute someone is going to tie strings to you and fly you over Macy's on Thanksgiving. ("And what's next in our parade, Kathy Lee?" "Well, Reeg, I think we have the ever-popular Heather Bloat Float -- looks like she's even bigger this year than last!") You can start focusing on some of the REAL drama in your life.

And you know what? You can find out that you have no drama. Yes, I -- Heather J. Blige -- have come to embrace no more drama in my life. I haven't stopped expecting it, which causes some inner turmoil. Because I feel as though I am constantly rushing towards something, some goal, some eventuality. And I have realized that what I feel like I'm rushing towards, or rather what I feel like I'm waiting for I guess is the drama. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been a long time since the SS Heather's course ran smooth (er, smoothly? Damn, aren't I old enough to know my adverbs by now??) and the fact that it has done so now for QUITE some time is a bit disconcerting. Yes, I have had my bumps -- minor financial setbacks, fights with my boyfriend, misunderstandings with friends -- but really, nothing that I can't handle. Nothing that leaves me feeling like I'm all alone in this cold, cruel world. All around me I have friends with turmoil -- accidents and break-ups and medical issues and death, even -- and I feel very lucky. And I get nervous making that statement because I feel like I'm tempting the Fates.

But, I'm tempting. Bring it on, Fate. You think you got game?

Just kidding Fate, just kidding. You got game and it ain't no Candyland!

So, from bleeding to blessed -- that's some segue, huh?
HP