Got interrupted in middle of last blog...
Poor S called in the middle and I'm all wrapped up in thoughts of movies and good and evil and then this weird impact reading about myself yet NOT myself and thinking about the shape of things and I just went off on the attack. I didn't really mean to, I just get fired up sometimes and I just get diarrhea of the mouth. It's funny to me, how little of the nature of my ranting is understood. There is so much that is required and yet SO little really. I want him to tell me all the sweet little nothings, but not because I ask but because he means them. It doesn't count when you ask. It's a funny thing about me -- I am SO hard to please and yet so easy to please at the same time. Sometimes, it really does take mountains and mountains -- and I think the good thing about me is that I know that I am this hard to please sometimes. I am balls to the wall totally up in my self-awareness of what a pain in the ass I am. But here's the thing, so many more times I'm THAT much easier to please -- tell me you miss me, tell me I look like Charlize Theron even though we BOTH know that's a crock of shit, reach out and tickle me behind my ear for no reason -- tell me that you love me in that WAY that you have that still just stops me in my tracks -- and all is but a memory.

I'm woman -- I get easily irritated, yes. But I get easily bowled over by the simplest things, too. I once said to S, it's the very things that attract you to me, these things also push you away. The fact that I am pretty blunt is kind of a draw, but if you like it pointed at other people -- you have to accept it pointed at you too. I can't turn that shit off and on -- TRUST me, I would be in a much higher position in life if I could. The fact that I can also be mushy and sentimental, means that I can also be a LITTLE too sensitive about really dumb things. And the fact that I have some goody-goody tendencies means that I may require you to do goody-goody things sometimes too. It's just that simple. It's part of the relationship -- the give and take, the yin and yang. He does things that drive me crazy, but he also does things that make me crazy in love with him -- I accept that. I don't always LIKE it, but I accept it.

Well, that's enough of that -- my hormones are currently at a stasis level so there's only so much passion I can drum up. I'm Heather, hear me snore! I love the man, the man loves me (though I daresay he second guesses THAT a couple times a week!) and all the rest is just rhetoric, as my former father in law used to say.

HP