Last HP Standing

So, I'm getting sucked into this Last Comic Standing show on NBC. HERE is a reality show that can really pull me in. I never really got into the American Idol hype because I cannot sing. At all. I am too embarrassed most of the time to sing in the shower, except for after really good sex and then I don't care. (Sidebar: I honestly think the singing after sex thing came from Gone with the Wind where Scarlett's all humming away after she FINALLY has an orgasm with a man she won't admit she's in love with...) But, what was I saying? Right, American Idol -- so I can't indulge in fantasies watching the show and think, "If only I had waited it out with all of those other people, sleeping on the sidewalks in the cold -- only to go face to face with Simon", because I am pretty sure that Simon would go off on me for about 3 days. I'm down with that, it's cool. I have thrown spayed cats into heat with the sound of my own caterwauling.

BUT. Last Comic? C'mon baby -- that is ME! Because I can joke up some daily whines for real! Granted, most of my material is stolen, but who notices that really? It's all in the delivery! So, I can watch that stuff and start pulling out the jokes I "keep" and think "if only"... That's right, give that girl a blue ribbon in dorkiness because I have been known to write down some of my funnier one-liners and keep them. I really wish I could remember to do that when I'm around S and I say something funny because it's so rare that he thinks I am as amusing as HE is that surely that's got to be global humor at that point! Especially when all I ever seem to do most of the time is whine and complain... Nevertheless, if my weekend with HP2 proved anything it's this: I am funny... especially if you are sleep-deprived and drunk off your keester on vodka, but I would like to think that only ENHANCED my performance.

I also get this same inspiration when I watch interviews with really cool writers. I think -- Hey! I could write a book. It could be interesting. People would read it. Well, some people, it would be for a selective audience. Ok, my mom would read it and then say it would be better if I cut my hair, but at least there would be an audience damnit!

Too bad I don't get this inspired by Underwriters or I would really be climbing that corporate ladder, huh? "The panache that that Underwriter turned down my request to insure that guy's wheelbarrow just because he was going to install an engine in it and use it for racing -- that was just classy, sexy -- hot hot hot!!!"

Thanks -- I WILL be here all week. And all month. And pretty much until I get a life...
HP