Let the record reflect that even with a week that wasn't heavy with "good man stuff" that I have yet to embark on a twisted, man-hating blog.

The thing is that I'm never going to be overly fond of men in general as a sex. Largely because they are so completely the opposite of women in so many ways and I just can't relate to them. They want things to be one way until the things ARE that way and then they wish they were another.

But, it's the cave that I don't understand. Things get bumpy and you can see the brow line start to protrude more and their walk is a lot less upright and then off they go, sloughing into the cave. What is this ABOUT? Why is it SO bad and dangerous just to talk? Yeah, women like to talk things to death and it can be trying even for another woman at times, but is it so bad to talk about your emotions that you have to hide in your cave until the emotion is gone?

Scout and I had a lengthy chat about this over breakfast this morning. She's reading Men are from Mars... and a bit ired by the notion that not only is this supposed to be ACCEPTED behavior but that we're almost to encourage its continuation by shopping. Ok, this is a sexist statement to be sure but the underlying message is basically that there isn't a darned thing WRONG with the cave and we're perhaps the ones in the wrong for trying to pull the men out of it.

Yeah. Ok. Whatever. Herein lies the problem, we're left to pace outside of the cave like lions in heat. With no knowledge about what's going on in the cave even though it has the potential to impact, I don't know, the rest of our lives. And the "I can take it or leave it" attitude that most men throw towards their relationships doesn't do much to ease the pacing outside the cave. It just makes it that much more nerve-wracking and debilitating. And makes us angrier in the meantime, because we feel powerless. You in your cave there seem to hold the power as to whether or not we "get" to keep being in a relationship or not.

It sucks.

There's no way for me to give men an analogy of what it feels like on the outside of the cave. I'm really bad at analogies anyway and it's just so hard for me to conjure up an image of something that most men could feel so passionately about without the hope of knowing that those feelings were returned in kind.

And the things is guys -- you are not fooling anyone. We know you love us. We know you need us. We know that you are even occasionally pathetically grateful that we are even willing to give you the time of day, much less the enormous quantity of dirty, kinky booty whenever you want. Do you think we don't know this?? We see that look you get in your eyes sometimes and we notice the pitch of your voice when you ask what our plans are later. And that's our burden too. We know these things and yet we still need to hear them and you still need to know that you don't have to say them. It's a vicious circle sometimes.

Needless to say, sometimes we just don't want to play the game. We're not going to just fold laundry while you go spelunking in the cave. We want answers, even if we're NOT entirely certain what the questions are!

You know what the bottom line is though -- tell your woman that you love her. Act like you love her and show her too. And every day that you keep loving her, keep telling her. Can you say I love you too many times? I think not. It's not going to run out. What if you never got the chance? What if this moment that you are gazing at this precious gift that you have (and trust me, men -- we know that you're a gift too... If nothing else, you keep our conversations interesting.) -- what if this is the last moment that you will ever have? Because if this person were gone tomorrow would you truly feel that you had done and said everything you could to really make them understand that?

And if you haven't, why not??

I hate it when I have to get preachy and self-righteous like this but it can't be helped!

And no, you knowitall bastard -- I am NOT fighting with Daddy, quite the opposite. We did have a fight this week though. And I DO hate the cave. But, it's true -- I went shopping and felt much better about it! ;-)
Frankly, it's not worth having my panties all in a bunch about. I'm a talker, I want to talk about my problems; he doesn't want to talk about his. I finally decided -- fuck it, I'm selfish enough that as long as he's still willing to listen to me talk about mine that what he does with his is his deal. I would prefer that he talk to me, and honestly -- he usually does. Just not in a timeframe that I always appreciate! But, I'm learning to adjust my time frames. And he's probably learning to wear earplugs when he senses I have a problem brewing! Ha!

Anyways, enough ranting -- I have psych class stuff I need to be procrastinating on. I can't fully appreciate the procrastination unless I'm vege-ing in front of the tv!

-HP