A Tale of Too Skinnies

[Kahlua -- I think I may be in the market for a headline writer, you interested?]

I had the most terrible realization while driving home today. I have a :::gasp::: PREJUDICE! And against what minority do I bear this affliction?? Skinnies. That's right -- skinny people suck ass! I said it, I meant it -- what're you gonna do about it?

The worst part? Most of my closest friends are skinny people! How did this happen? Because I really don't like skinny people on general principle most of the time. Anyone that can order McDonald's fries and not have to order a shake too cannot be trusted. Anyone that FORGETS to eat has got serious issues that you should not have in your life. We're talking about people who make beanpoles look like telephone poles -- skinnnnneeee. If you can order a child's portion in a restaurant and still have leftovers, you might be too thin.

I'm not sure how this prejudice came about though, but I do know that I naturally don't trust people who don't even weigh enough to donate blood. After all, where am I going to get a supply otherwise if I ever need a major operation?? C'mon y'all -- eat more, help save my life!

So, it's sad. I bi-pass alot of potential friend candidates because they can't compete in my weight division. This seems like a big waste to me because I'm sure that skinny people have just as much to offer as people in the well-rounded group -- I just can't imagine what it is. After all, we couldn't share long, fun dinners together. She'd be full after salad and I'd just be getting warmed up. Priming the pump, as it were. And then, we couldn't go shopping together either. I'd feel weird hanging out while she purchased clothes in the children's department and she'd get lost in the flaps of the tents that I call my clothes. And we definitely couldn't take a fun, sunny vacation together because she'd have to keep rescuing me after the mobs tried to push me back into the ocean. And to make matters worse -- she wouldn't be able to donate blood to save my whaley ass because she wouldn't have remembered to eat lunch all week and wouldn't weigh enough to donate blood!

Another one bites the dust... No, honey -- it's a no dust week this week! Just dew -- morning dew.

Guess I'm still working out that prejudice thing, but I mean no harm my slinky sisters....
-hp