Strange things

I recently figured out that I am Diet Story Ho. I am addicted to hearing about people's diets and things that they do to lose weight. Not because I am EVER going to do any of these things myself but because it's just so fascinating the lengths that people will go to to lose weight. The sacrifices and hard work.

One of my best friends, who for lack of a better nickname we'll call the Librarian, is heavily involved in research analysis at a medical center... What most of the research she is involved in centers around is being overweight and the various effects it has on your health. She's been involved in some MAJOR projects involving this subject, so I trust that she knows of which she speaks. And it's fascinating, but not in a soap operatic way like diet stories are. Her stories are the ones that prompt the OTHER people to go out and diet and that's cool -- because then I can hear their stories and revel in them.

I saw an old friend I hadn't seen in forever last night and he'd been doing the Atkins and had lost 50 pounds. Which is AWESOME! I mean, that's how much a 4-year-old weighs, for pity's sake. (I have a tendency to think of weight gained and lost in terms of the size of people, and I have a reason behind this which I'll get to.) And he was talking about all the new low-carb stuff that's out there and available now that the Atkins has caught on with such popularity. Another guy at work went on what I referred to as the "prisoners diet." He basically was starving himself for 3 days and then eating regularly for 4. He said it was the diet they put heart patients on just before they go into surgery to cleanse their systems and stuff. But, that's not the kind of diet you can stick to. Another friend went on Weight Watchers and lost a bunch of weight and has kept it off and looks fabulous. And I know people who start walking to get in shape. I was inspired just the other day by two women who climb all 4 flights of stairs to our floor every day. I was ready to start doing it. But, I hate sweating and I would be just one big puddle by the time I got to the top and then I'd have to work all day covered in my own sweat. (I can rationalize not doing just about A N Y T H I N G!)

But, I still love the stories. Makes me appreciate the fact that I'm about to go home and eat ice cream for dinner. After having a pile of nachos for lunch. Or whatever. Because it's nice to be thin, but it's much nicer being fat and lazy. No effort involved in that AT ALL.

As for the reason I compare body weight to the weight of children is because I was once lobbying for tax breaks for fat people. By the insurance chart standard, I am about 50 pounds or more overweight. (This is probably the weight of my ass.) So, 50 pounds is about how much the average 5-year old weighs, I think. (Correct me if I'm wrong, please.) So, I'm basically having to deal with a permanent 5-year old attached to my ass. I have to dress the child and feed the child and that's a LOT more expensive than if I were the weight the insurance chart says I should be. If I were that weight, I could find clothes everywhere in my size because I would be the size that fashion designers think is normal. (What I want to know is -- if there are SO many size 10 people out there, why are there SOOO many more of their clothes on the racks, than there are for people MY size?) So, if people who actually HAVE five year olds are getting tax breaks, why can't I? I may as well have one.

Ah, you say I could lose the weight -- whereas they could not legally and morally lose the child? Well, that's all well and good except in order to lose the weight I would need to eat right and exercise. It's more expensive to eat good food than it is to eat crap. (Trust me on this one -- the main reason I can afford to make ends meet is because I almost never buy anything that remotely resembles real food.) And even if I were to just start walking, which is free exercise -- you still need to have the right shoes and the right clothing. So, I still need the tax break -- because to get rid of my "child" is still going to cost me more than if I didn't have a child.

Anyways -- no more blogging tonight. I finally managed to type enough to soothe the hyper brain monkey. G'night!