The Priory of Deuces Wild

Last night was SO cool -- I got invited to the inner circle! That's right -- the boys were DESPERATE and they called me. For poker!! And NOT, as expected, to pass out sandwiches. I was so excited that my excitement superceded all other wants and desires... Including a dire need to hit the WalMart to replenish some supplies. "Who needs hairspray, my hair's just gonna fall anyways!" I thought. I was also pretty tired because I had to stay an extra half hour after work and Tuesday is already my long day. But, S has been pretty "strict" about this whole poker is for the boys thing, so I decided that this was my ONE shot, my oppor-tun-it-Y! (I had a little bit of the Eminem song thumping in my head on the drive over, actually -- my palms WERE sweaty!)

It's not like I am a good poker player, I tend to lose a lot. But I really enjoy playing. The chance to maybe win a few bucks and learn some interesting games while I'm at it, that's fun for me. I'm a card nerd, what can I say??

So, S calls after I get off work with the invitation and I think he's pulling my leg. That he just needs me to go pick up the chicken or whatever. But turns out they're short-handed, and "someone else" said it was okay. I run around frantically getting cash and changing clothes. TEAR over there. They're casually sitting around playing, turns out "someone else" is down pretty bad and I think he needed a sucker. We'll call him the Bald One. (Sorry dude, it's early in the morning and my nickname server is down) So, its S and The Bald One and the Retard and that's it. No wonder they needed a body! I announce that I'll be their designated sucker for the evening and we start playing.

It was fun. Everyone was joking on everyone else, but mainly the Retard. (I have to note that I really hate calling the guy the Retard, even if he HAS made retarded comments even about me -- but everyone calls him that so what can I do??) S -- Daddy -- is in his usual state of bliss which I think may be helped by the fact that he seems to be faring okay when I arrive. He actually does a little better for a while after I get there because whenever I deal I seem to be dealing just for him. (What a good girl I am! Securing an invite next time... Not so fast.) I will say this: it was interesting playing poker with Daddy in this setting. He's a little more intense about it than he was the one time we played co-ed poker. But, because we are involved then I have some inkling when he's bluffing and when he's not. AND he figured out my "strategy" for one of the games early on and tried to use it against me. Interesting.

But the whole thing is an interesting phenomenon because The Bald One (TBO, because I'm tired of typing all that out) does a running commentary throughout the game. Basically, I just do what he tells me to. "Well, if you don't have at least blah blah blah then you should probably get out of the hand." "You know you have the lock on the low hand so you want to raise every chance you get." Most of the commentary was directed at the Retard because well... He bets on everything. It's the strangest thing I have ever seen. I'm not sure if suddenly he thinks that a pair of 2's is going to beat a straight flush, but he does. Every time. Frankly, I think this is the strategy. He stays in and bets every time because sooner or later he's going to have something. It must work because I think he broke even.

The only real down part to the evening was a misunderstanding between myself and TBO. Because everyone was talking trash, I started giving him shit along with everyone else. I admit it may have been more directed at him than anyone else, because let's face it -- I'm only going to give Daddy but so much shit and I feel too sorry for the Retard to really let him have it. So, who's left? Yeah. But, it wasn't anything over the top -- just teasing him for his precise poker playing and the running commentary thing. Nothing about his mom for pity's sake. (I come from the "if you dish it out you should be able to take it but don't you DARE talk about my mama" school.) Well, he called me on it. Literally. I was hurt. Asked me why I was being so nasty to him and hadn't he been nice to me after S and I broke up the last time and so forth? It was shocking. I explained that I was just trying to give him back some of what he was dishing out and that I thought it was the nature of our relationship for me to make fun of him and even further pointed out that if I didn't like him I would not make fun of him at ALL (as sooooooooo many of my friends can easily attest to -- especially poor Curly Sue). He accepted it, but it wasn't the same for me after that. I felt self-conscious with every dig thereafter. I mean, I didn't stop GIVING him jabs, but I didn't enjoy it as much. It was like I was a dominatrix who was suddenly told that she was abusive for spanking so hard. What are you kidding?

Anyway. To add insult to injury, I won. I think I may have been the "big" winner but I doubt that since all I won was $19. Still. Caused a rift in the easy male bonding (a-HA, maybe there is a release for them after all!) AND I had the nerve not only to leave with the $20 I came with, but some of their money too. Pretty much guaranteed that I'm out of the running next time around. Oh well, they'll never know it was beginner's luck that way! ;-)

kisses all,
HP