Monday, August 04, 2003

Girlfriend Watch

So, I've been thinking about the long-running Neighborhood Watch program. You know the drill, your neighbors watch your back and you watch theirs. Generally, it's just an excuse for your nosy neighbors to stay nosey, but it's a nice theory. Harkening back to older simpler times. (Yes, I did in fact just say harkening -- deal with it.)

I think that I may have somehow started this program amongst my girlfriends. Well, let me clarify -- I didn't institute the Girlfriend Watch program, because this has long been the code among women -- it's just that it's been actively enforced in my own neighborhood as late. Men behaving badly lends itself to women leaning on their friends more. And that's where I step in. I try to be Supportive Friend, although this generally lends itself to Abrasive Friend. I'll be on Watch (checking on my friend's emotional temperature and making sure there are distracting activities going on and so forth) but then I just get so frustrated with men in general that the Watch generally just turns into Heather going on an "all men suck" tirade. Just basically incensed that someone that I love is being hurt by the insensitive actions of the opposite sex. Why don't they just call? Why don't they just step up to the plate and admit that being in a relationship DOES require more work than eating a BLT and then admit that they are not willing to put forth that much more effort?? Maybe if you offered them a slice of cheese to go on their BLT but my food references are taking over and you see where I'm going...

This is why I'm on Girlfriend Watch currently. Men who don't call or just behave badly in general. What is this about? Berger dumped Carrie via POST IT NOTE for pity's sake. And yes, that's just tv but let's get serious -- this stuff imitates life a little too often. Men who just don't GET IT. I can't figure this phenomenon out. I never have been able to. I understand that women are built to be the caretakers of the relationship, but does that mean that we have to do ALL the work?? When is it their turn? Why don't they care if we don't call for days? Why don't they obsess over every little comment we make and wonder what it means? Why don't they wonder if we consider them to be part of our future? You don't catch them eyeing engagement displays with envy. You don't hear of them bitching amongst themselves about all the things they do that they are unappreciated for. You notice how there are all kinds of shows glorifying the strength of women in times of adversity (ie Sex and the City) but there are no shows demonstrating this bonding aspect of men? It's because there isn't any. Which leads to the question -- does this stuff have ANY impact on them at all?? And if so, where do they put it? How do they deal with it?? Is this why men have such high rates of colon cancer??

It's funny, because if you just happened on the blog and didn't know ME personally then you would think I am a raging man-hater. Which I am, in fact, not. I happen to be very satisfied in my current relationship and do believe that there are many redeeming qualities to be found in men in general. But where the rage against the man machine kicks in is when my friends are being run through the wringer by guys who just can't be honest. Who can't be MEN. Got to pay the cost to be the boss and sometimes that means dealing with the repercussions of your uglier behavior. If we can own up to PMS tirades, then you can give a little back.

And just a little fyi -- women overlook a LOT in the men we love. We always have and we always will. But the friends of the woman who loves you will initiate your undoing if you treat her bad. It's just that simple. Hell hath no fury like the friends of a woman scorned -- often it's worse than the woman herself. So, men: if you treat your woman REALLY bad and she forgives you, you best be including enough flowers in that delivery to dole out to her friends too -- because we're the ones who are really gonna be WATCHING you!

Sincerely yours,
President & Founder of Girlfriend Watch

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