Blog all over the page

It's a funny thing about life changes. You expect them to change your life. And my life IS changed. Don't get me wrong. But, I still get stressed out about silly things. I still get insecure about things. My feet still hurt after wandering through K-Mart too long. I'm still broke. I still don't like to cook.


Where did THAT come from?

The reactions have been interesting all around. Largely congratulations, but there have been many who were more than a little surprised to hear that I, Ms. Cynical, was getting married. After all, I certainly went through a small bitter period, didn't I? I think some folks were as surprised to hear the news as I was when I was asked!

Maybe even more so. After all, my tag quote on my email was "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" up until about 6 months ago. If that.

I don't know. I guess this fish decided that while she didn't NEED a bicycle, it sure is fun to tool around the ocean on one. Makes things a lot more interesting. The fact is that there are dull moments with Scott, but there aren't many. He keeps me guessing. And he loves me. (Not that I blame him, I'm pretty great.) These things are hard to come by and I say that I accepted because I want him to be legally required to keep hanging around and making me happy.

The fact is that while my cynicism has kept me company on many a night -- it's done little to keep me warm or make me laugh or make me think. I still don't think marriage is for everyone. I'm still a little surprised that I believe it's for me. But I do. I like thinking about things in terms of us and not just me. It does make things seem easier. (For his part, he'll have a built in excuse to get out of doing all the things he doesn't want to do. Trust me, that may be worth the price of admission for him!) Yet, it is still weird to adapt to that. I was talking to my aunt about trying to get together NEXT Christmas and I realized that those plans would no longer be my own to create. (Well, at this point the idea of planning something a year in advance is so weird to him that in that regard I am on my own) So, I guess I like thinking about the power of two -- but I am still a little overwhelmed by that power.

Anyways. I'm still fried from shopping on limited left-over budget. I'm going to stop trying to make sense, and start trying ot make some zzzzz's! :)