about that singles comment

Ms. Rose (you can check out her blog, though I daresay it's a lot less prolific than mine) accused me of "forgetting what it was like out there."

As if.

A line I picked up from a tv show last night really resonated what I remember from being out there -- "I'd hardly call getting rejected in bars dating."

Yup. That about sums up singles life. It's not that I have forgotten it, per se -- it's just who wants to remember? Well, let me clarify -- that sums up dating life. Single life isn't so bad if you're not trying to date anyone. But, dating sucks.

Ms. Rose says she can see it in this very blog that I have lost it -- that singles thing. With all of the glowing reviews of Scott and our relationship. There's a few reasons for that. The first and foremost is out of respect to him. He DOES read this crap (though he rarely admits it or comments on it) and it wouldn't really be right to air out our dirty laundry on the world wide web. Especially since most of the stains in our laundry, as it were, are usually cleaned up fairly quickly and don't need to be hanging out forever to remind us. It's not like it's all sunshine and roses -- it's not. But the darkness and thorns is best kept on a small scale -- NOT the internet. That's what girlfriends are for, aren't they? Bitching and hashing. Which leads me to the second reason... Because it's not the same to crow to your girlfriends about the good times, it's easier to "dump" that stuff here. That's the stuff that can get fairly nauseating, especially if you have to listen to it when you're single. I can't tell you how many times I had to stifle retching when one of my girlfriends was going on about fabulous her boyfriend was while I was single. That stuff is NOT juicy, unfortunately. People want to know that you're unhappy and having problems and fighting all the time, because then it makes their own situations seem more normal.

And that makes it hard. Because when I DO get those overwhelming feelings of happiness about being in my relationship, there's no one to really talk to about that. Not even Scott. It's not that he doesn't love me back or feel some of the same ways (I hope!), but he just doesn't go on for pages of flowery prose about it. It's just not his style. That's okay. But, I AM like that -- so I use the blog.

That's the gyst of it. (Gist? Jist? What a stupid word!) I'm not sure why I should have to feel apologetic for being in a mostly stable and happy relationship, but apparently this is a crime against my formerly single self and my sisters from those days. But the fact is that back when I was on the prowl, all I really wanted deep down was a reason to NOT have to go out on Friday night. My life IS a little dull these days, I don't really have the wild vignettes that I used to have. It doesn't take me until Tuesday to recuperate from my weekends anymore. And the fact is that I don't miss any of it. I don't wish that I were single again and partying all the time. It's a documented fact that my tolerance level is at a lifetime low.

And there are plenty singletons out there that wish that they were playing games in their pajamas at 8pm on a Saturday night with their honey. Admit it or don't, but you know who you are!

HP