Open up and say ahhhh...
Had dental work done today -- always my favorite thing in life -- and because my mouth is still so numb, I can't eat. So, I've decided to drink my dinner instead. What fun! I should have started this years ago, now it's going to take me TONS longer to become an alcoholic! It's really not very easy drinking either, but I am muddling through because I am a survivor!!
Because I was home earlier than usual, I was subjected to a kid trying to sell stuff door to door. This is one of my greatest weaknesses. You come to my door with your goodies and I am hard-pressed to say no. Good thing I don't live in a crack neighborhood.
Oh, wait I do!
Anyways, I almost bought Scott a "Just Say No to Drugs" mug but the irony was too rich. I even managed to resist the peanut brittle and those candy coated peanuts. It's a wonder how having a numb mouth can make you resist your "crunch" cravings.
Perhaps I could start keeping novacaine around the house to help me resist my munchies. Wouldn't that be fabulous??
I was going to blog abou....
We interrupt this blog to bring you a late breaking FAR MORE INTERESTING BLOG!!!
Whoa. Wow. Just got email from my "mother in law" -- which is odd since she's dead. Let's post it, shall we??
"Heather,
I really do need my black evening bag back as soon as possible. I had no idea you still had it until I needed it. We have all the Shrine conventions here and Myrtle Beach coming up in the next few wks. It has been 5 days since Carol called and asked for it back. I really try not to bother you, but I would have thought when you ran across it you would have made sure it was returned immediately after so long. You can mail it to me if personally returning it is to difficult or Scott can just stick in the office door on the copier and not have to see anyone. Thank you for your expedience in this matter. I will be looking for its return very shortly.
Lora"
Didn't even get to share THIS little gem. She loaned me her bag while we were on the cruise and one thing led to another and it never got returned. Now she's using collections tactics to get it back.
What on EARTH do we think we should do about this? Scott wants to take a dump in it and then return it. I think we should put her email address on a bunch of sex websites. (Hmm, just thought of that one.) I think I should let her sweat.
Anyone got any thoughts on this one??
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2 comments:
This is *THE* MIL? The one who didn't attend the big day? Humph.
First - who is Carol & why was she asking for it back?
Second - here's my advice for what it's worth:
Seems like maybe MIL is realizing what a putz she is/has been and perhaps the bag gives her an excuse to contact you and make some type of overture to gauge the situation - test the waters as it were. I mean really...a black bag? Unless the thing is made of black diamonds, I am thinking maybe the above is true. If it was just a stupid black bag and she really wanted nothing to do with you all then why not go out and buy a new one?
The way I see it, you are in primo position in MIL's little game. And while I should be a nice charitable person, etc. I am not. I carry a vengeful streak that harkens back to my Scottish ancestors. But there's no need to be nasty. I say have Scott stick it in the door without seeing anyone. Don't send a note. Don't respond. Just give it back. That way no one can say you kept her stuff (giving her more to be huffy about) and yet she's still in the dark about how you all are feeling about the relationship or lack thereof. It should make her crazy. Man, that PMS is really kicking in 'eh?
(Disclaimer: Keep in mind I have no idea about what actually happened pre-wedding, so I am probably talking out of my ass)
And dentists are creepy. They scare me with their sharp instruments and drilly noises.
I think you need to return it anonymously, as suggested above. Not necessarily because it is vengeful, or will drive her nuts, but more to avoid any possibility of contact with her at all. I don't believe that she is testing the waters, honestly, at least in the sense of trying to see if there is any positive thought left from you guys. I think she is seeing if she can find another way in to horn back into your lives and create more destruction and mayhem. I mean - look at the insinuations she is making. "I would have thought after so much time you would have been anxious to return it" etc. What a crock. I would have thought after carrying him for nine months in your womb and parenting him for 37 years you'd have the f@$#ing class to attend your own son's wedding. It's just an opportunity for her to fire off more negativity toward the two of you. Don't be positive, don't be negative - give her back her crap and avoid her to the extent that you can.
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