The Kid Thing

Here's the thing. I'm 31. Rolling steadily towards 32. The urge to have kids hasn't hit me yet. I'm not saying that it NEVER hits me, it does. There are times when I'm around cute kids and I think about how my life could be changed by having kids. But, inevitably my inherent selfishness kicks in and the feeling passes.

It's similar to the urge I get to exercise.

Most of the rest of the women in my life are mom or moms-in-waiting. Many of them frequently get baby urges. This is not something I can relate to even a little bit so it makes me feel very very isolated. I wish I had these urges so I could relate. I don't.

I've been told that I have said that I don't like children. That seems harsh, even for me. I don't deny that I may have said it, but fuck it -- I say lots of things. I'm not going to be inviting any kids to go have sushi any time soon, but I do think they are adorable and marvelous and all that sunshine out of your ass stuff. (Hmmm, who's PMS'ing?) I just can't see myself having them around. All the time. I mean, I barely have enough time to take somewhat decent care of myself -- how could I fit someone else into that equation??

I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for mothers -- for parents in general, but mothers more. There's so much sacrifice that's involved -- it's such a huge commitment in the first place. (Assuming, of course, that one has actually DECIDED to have kids.) You give up your body for at least 9 months and you give up your heart forever. It's huge. I'm too... something to make this leap.

Moms will try to bring me over all the time. I can't understand this. You know what I'm talking about -- because if you're a mom, you've probably done it to someone. Oh, it's different when it's your kid. You love them so much you don't realize the sacrifices. It changes your life forever. Etc etc.

Why on Earth would you want to talk someone into doing something that they're not really that interested in in the first place? This makes NO sense to me. Hey, how 'bout if you just have an extra kid and say it's to replace the one I didn't have? It'll even out. Because if I said that I think that I'm too lazy to have a pet, then you certainly wouldn't be taking me to the SPCA -- but you think this doesn't carry over to actual little humans? Is there more respect for animal life than human life?

Well, not if you ask PETA. But I digress.

I think people just want to see what it would be like to see me with a baby. All the time. I'll tell you how to see that -- bring a gorilla a kitten. It'll be like that.

And yet, despite this enormous rant I say that it's not like I'm saying never never ever. I'm just not any time soon, can't picture it, can't imagine it, don't desire it, don't crave it, how bout let's let it go??

All right.

In our next blog we'll be mocking an anonymous person from my work. Bring your dictionaries, there will be many big words...

-H