Poker... I hardly know her!

Have been thinking about poker a lot lately, especially since we played hold 'em last week. I've always loved poker -- because I really like to play cards and then there's the added thrill of maybe winning a little bit of money to boot. Secretly, I'm kind of competitive.

But, Hold 'em was so much different than "regular" poker and it really played into one of my favorite things in life -- psychoanalyzing people. Hold 'em is the greatest bluff of all time. And you never ever know if the person is bluffing you unless you stay til the end to find out. But, that means bluffing that much yourself. And it's a huge gamble. Because, the person really could have something and then you've blown it. Or they could have nothing and you blew it by NOT staying in. But, if no one stays -- then you'll never know.

It's really fascinating. I could think about it for hours -- I'm THAT shallow. I could really see myself turning celebrity poker into my new must-see tv on Thursday nights. I'm THAT fascinated by watching people for the tell. Because it's all about the tell.

I don't think I have one because I'm too gutless to stay in when I don't really have anything. I've been burned that way before.

Frankly, I could easily flip this into a conversation about relationships -- but when can't I do that? It's my second greatest passion -- dissecting relationships... But, that could lead me down a whole other tangent about how Scott thinks I am unhappy because I enjoy picking apart our relationship so much. He says that I should just LIVE in the moment. But, that's not me -- is it? I'm an "old soul" -- a theme which has been reiterated to me again this week -- and no matter how happy I am, I'm always going to pick it apart and analyze it because that is what drives me. Figuring out the connections between people and what keeps us with them and they with us...

Which leads me back to the game of poker. What keeps people holding on to certain cards and having such certainty in their strength that they will lie to their friends and lovers about it and take their money without remorse?? It's crazy, isn't it? The gamble.

And yet, we gamble this way with our own lives every day, don't we? Every choice we make with absolute certainty always has the opportunity to backfire without our having planned for it at all...

Hard to believe all those guys with their green visors and wife beater (shudder) tank tops are really life's philosophers in disguise, isn't it?

-H