Out from the funk


I just bet you greedy little vicarious bottom feeders really want to hear all about my vacation. And I would love to tell you about it. But it is late and I don't have the energy.

So, I may tell you about it or I may not. Suffice it to say -- I had a VERY relaxing time all in all (what DOES that mean?) and really hate the thought of going back to my daily life again. But, you gotta work so you can pay for the times you're not working and enjoy them more.

Or something.

So. Just gonna write about this little epiphany I had while indulging in one of my favorite bad habits (no, not that one -- not that one either) -- watching reality tv shows in MTV. In this case, The Real World. Couldn't tell you which one because the only one I ever really followed was Las Vegas. But I digress.

So, there's this girl with multiple piercings and tattooes and she's dating a guy that is MAD CRAZY about who looks like a male version of her, only in even more need of a sandwich. One of the other girls on the show does her little confession booth thing about how the only reason that the chick is even with this guy is because he makes her feel like she is the center of his universe, etc. I'm just wondering -- how is it a bad thing if someone you love makes you feel important??

And if anyone is left to comment please don't come blazing in here talking about how it CAN be a bad thing if the person puts too much emphasis on you and blah blah blah -- let's leave the melodrama to Scott's mom where it belongs!

Then I realized. No matter who you are with, no matter who you are there is always going to be someone, somewhere ("with a big nose, who knows") who will not like the person you are with. No matter who that person is and how happy you are with them. And if/when your relationship doesn't work out, those are the people that you will turn to because they are the ones who will make you feel justified that the relationship didn't work out. And if/when your relationship DOES work, well it is typically those people who get cut out. Look around you, can you think of a couple that you know that either you don't think should be together or that someone you know thinks shouldn't be together? Maybe you even thought it at one point but changed your mind or learned to accept the inevitable or whatever. But regardless, we all have them. I know I have plenty and I know that there are plenty of people who don't understand why I am with Scott. I told him this, gently, as I was explaining this theory and his response is "fuck 'em."

Truth is, you've got to agree with him. Once you choose to walk down that relationship path with someone, you've got to decide for yourself what and who is right for you. YOU are the only one who knows why you are there and why he is there and so on. There's always going to be someone who doesn't "approve", who doesn't get it. Who doesn't feel as enthusiastically as you do. It's just that simple. But, what're you gonna do? Poll the audience first before deciding who to date? Most likely, the audience is not going to pick someone who does it for you.

The other thing is that the level of disapproval does seem to be in line with how far away from a cookie cutter the party in question is. But, it doesn't really matter. The guy could be Superman, the woman could be Wonder Woman -- there is someone in your circle of friends right now who doesn't think it's right. "Why do they always have to be fighting crime? What about the criminals -- they need to work too. And they're always messing up our reservations because they have to fly off to save the world. What -- the world is more important than happy hour?"

Seriously. I know this because I've been on both sides of it. Not that I've ever dated Superman (just someone that thinks he is) , but you know what I mean. I think that's when you know you've taken the leap of faith -- you throw the audience's opinion out the window and decide to just trust your own. Truth is, I've done it before and had it go horribly awry, so I am not advocating that taking the leap means it's the right leap. But, you gotta keep trusting because otherwise -- what is the point?

kisses to all -- will try to share some Bermuda stories next time... We're pretty much writing without Scott in the background these days too. Turns out the 2/16/04 blog This is Dedicated to the one I love is the one where I "jumped the shark." He was never going to enjoy it as much after that, so he has stopped reading.

Let's talk shit about him! ;-)

-HP