Monday, May 31, 2004

What IS that ticking noise?

Let me reiterate this fact for those of you not in in the know -- I really don't have a big desire to have children. This is not terribly surprising, because it comes up frequently. Like when I'm out shopping and there is a kid in the store that lets loose one of those ear-wrenching, spine-gripping, blood-curdling screams that causes ALL of the hair on your entire body to stand on end -- even at places you didn't know you HAD hair. Yeah. Like that. I call those screams "birth control." Every time I hear that I just know that I'm never going to have kids.

Or when someone shares a particularly gruesome aspect of pregnancy or giving birth, that makes me realize they're not the only ones about to be suffering from morning sickness.

Or when I think about the awesome amount of responsibility and then look at myself and realize that I'm not even capable of washing the dishes that are in the sink on a daily basis.

I'm not ready, I have no strong desires, the list goes on.

However. I have a couple of friends who have little kids, two with little girls, and they will occasionally forward pictures to me of the girls doing something incredibly adorable and looking at their moms and dads with those big round adoring eyes and that's when I think -- uh oh. THOSE images are so strong that all of my attempts to quelch them are often rebuked. I'll try to think about all of the other stuff and it's just not happening.

So, I'll have to do something DIRTY. I won't go into the gory details, but that will erase the images from my mind completely. No more baby dolls for YOU, Heather because you have been a bad bad girl!

I guess that's the funny side of it -- in order for me to get down and dirty, don't show me porn just make me have images of motherhood dance in my head and I'll get seriously dirty to get rid of them.

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