Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.
Demosthenes, Third OlynthiacGreek orator & politician in Athens (384 BC - 322 BC)


I cam across this quote unexpectedly, but this also resounds with my post the other day -- about wisdom not being communicable.

I have always professed my own self-awareness, and Scott has long teased me for it. After all, if I am so aware of my flaws -- why do I not do anything about it? I attribute it to laziness, another of my flaws.

But, really -- the sheer knowledge of one's own strengths and weaknesses can be so overwhelming that overcoming the inertia to move to the next level can take a lifetime.

Case study -- we have recently started hanging out with our neighbors across the court, after living here for close to a year. Scott had talked to the husband off and on, because he was known to be handy. He loaned us a wheelbarrow to help haul the never-ending pile of dirt (anyone need any topsoil for small projects?), which we kept for like 5 months. Crazy. He gave Scott pointers on a few odd jobs here and there. But, we never saw her ever. We knew she existed, because our other neighbors had told us stories about how she called the pound on their animals a couple of times. Then, suddenly a few weeks ago, a random Friday night we're invited over and proceeded to drink ourselves into oblivion and laughing and carrying on with them.

We've made New Years plans and shared stories and apparently they're going to help us raise our kids. Woo-hoo -- we can cross THAT one off the list.

So, it's good times -- but, mostly what they do is sit around and drink and bs. Which is good, but then we lose time. Big chunks of this must be why my head hurts so much today time. So, while we have enjoyed hanging out with them, I haven't been overly solicitious because I'm a little afraid of how much weight I might put back on to pay for my drinking sins.

But, back to self-deception... So, the wife comes over the other night under the guise of something and we find ourselves inviting her out to dinner and then find ourselves inviting her back in to hang out some more and watch tv and whatever. And then when it's time for us to go to bed, Scott and I realize that we feel like we didn't get to see each other. Because the wife is needy. Really needy. And doesn't like silence. And the crazy thing is that it is really obvious that she has no idea that she is this needy. I think the idea would probably piss her off, frankly. Because she puts on her tough guy act and even when she admits to moments of neediness, it's like it's something abnormal.

And yet, despite this complaint about her -- I do actually like her. I can't imagine taking a car trip with her or hanging out with her daily, but I really do like her. Maybe because her neediness reminds me of my own.

And that's where the self-awareness loop comes back around -- I know that I am needy and I don't like to be alone. I'm very aware of this aspect of my personality and really try to be cognizant of that so I don't overwhelm folks with it... It's just interesting to me people who don't seem to have this connection to their flaws. Because that's what makes us human, I think.