bloggedy blog

School started tonight. Statistics class and then my Soc 202 class online.

I think I'm going to like Stats. It was wordy. I like words.

I really hate it when I blog just to blog...

It's just really not me but here we are again. My life, while not perfect, is pretty good. I mean, what is there to talk about?

I'm not dating, I'm not confused about where my life is going -- stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Well, not done per se. I'm just saying don't give me a bunch of crap if there isn't a post every 3 hours here. It would throw you into a coma. ("Went to work, ate 18 points, trying to figure out what to eat for dinner on 8 points. Walked one mile. Watched 16 hours of Lost in 2 sittings.")

I LOVE being married to Scott, things are going great. Now. But, the fact is that we're not always shining sunshine out of our ass, but I don't talk about that stuff. Why? NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THAT STUFF, YOU MORON. It's part of the cult. I'm probably never going to talk about the ins and outs of it in detail. Why? Frankly, it's dull. We watch a lot of tv together, we giggle about stuff only we find funny, we flirt, we watch more tv, we sleep, we eat, we fart, whatever. It's your life being watched by someone else.

I have been wanting to go off on a whole marriage thing, actually. I know someone that got engaged to someone that... Well, she's engaged, she says she's happy. Less than 48 hours before it happened, she was crying in my house about this guy, but now she's happy. Ooookay. What can I do? What can I say? I said congratulations. Did I mean it?

I don't know.

I stayed up not long before that until almost when the sun came up (or was the sun coming up??) listening to all of the dark sides of this relationship without having any prior knowledge and all of the rationalization for the behavior. And now, you've got a ring and everything's great? Are you serious?

Sorry. Sorry. But, it bothers me to watch people make mistakes I made in the past.

So, here's my thing. Do not marry anyone ever for the sake of being married. Marriage itself with the wrong person sucks. Because you are trapped every waking moment (not at work/school/whatever you can do to get out of the house) with the same person. That is a lot of time. Plus, you sleep next to them. Which means any of their weird sleep stuff is going to affect you. Don't get married because you want to cross that off your list. Simply because your biological clock is ticking. Because you don't want to face dating in your 30's.

Trust me, dating in your 30's is far superior to being married to the wrong person.

How do you know if it's the wrong person? Honestly, I think that if you are rationalizing behavior and rationalizing your reaction to being verbally abused -- that doesn't seem like the right person.

I got lucky. I did. Scott is it for me. He is the gin in my vermouth, he is my peanut butter, and all of the other mushy comparisons. Did I have doubts? Well, yes, I did. But, I go back to the core of the man and how happy I am with this man and there can never be any other. When we are together, we are like ridiculous five year old kids. Laughing and giggling and just generally being a little stupid. It's not grown up, it's not "mature" and it's not for everyone. But I know it's for me and I know that there's nothing else.

Check your gut. Your gut knows, even when you don't want to believe what it says.

Can you tell I've over-indulged in wine for the first time in a while? :)


xoxo

hpl