Old

All the signs that I am getting too old are here. What to do?

Generally, I have been choosing comfort over fashion in the footwear department lately. I mean, I LOVE cute shoes more than a lot of people -- though not as much as many that I know. My quantity of cute shoes though has been diminishing based on my desire to wear comfortable shoes... Ick! I mean, what's next? Support hose?

I prefer to read more domesticated magazines than my usual staple of fashion single magazines. I can only learn how to put on eyeshadow so many times before I get completely bored. In Real Simple, I can learn alternatives to eye shadow if I run out AND an effective way to organize my closet. Granted, I'm not actually organizing my closet (please, I'm not THAT old), but the concept is intriguing.

I've lost my whimsy and replaced it with crankiness and anti-socialness. Don't believe me? Try calling sometime -- I'm all, "same old, same old -- nothing new." I'm liked Eeyore's less spunky aunt. What is up with that? Do I need more fiber? (Well, gee -- only an old person would think that fiber is the answer, so that must be it.) Was I always this cranky? I can't remember.

And so that means that I am forgetting things! Another sign of aging! You know how you're trying to remember something and you try so hard to remember it that then you can't remember why you wanted to remember it?? Yeah. Me too.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah -- how old I'm getting.

Just this weekend I was mocking my friend about her partying ways. She was complaining that everyone thinks she is drunk most of the time, and I was trying to explain that if you call people at 3:30 in the morning your time, people generally do not think you are sober. Because no one insomniac calls in the middle of the night -- no one has ever called it that. (This is the friend whose motto is "go big or go home" and yet thinks she can have a "low key" evening with just a couple of drinks... riiiight.) But, really -- this just makes me feel old. Because not only do I not party like that anymore, I really do not have any desire to do that anymore. Not out on the town at 7 different bars. The closest I get is out in my living room with 7 bottles of wine and good friends talking about men until all hours.

Some people say that not going out and partying is just part of being domesticated and getting more mature and whatnot, but I cry bullshit to that. Because all of that is really just code for the fact that we are too old and cranky to be able to hang for that amount of time!

At least I've been taking vitamins for years so I don't have to associate taking a handful of pills with being old. But, I do associate the fact that I am making a concerted effort to go to bed at a "decent' hour so I can get a good night's sleep with being old.

I'm thinking about retirement. I'm thinking about the fact that I can pretty clearly remember many things that happened 20 years ago -- 20 years -- and not have that seem like that long ago. I see kids who are 20 and they look 10.

And on and on. I'm trying to get a handle on this aging thing, but that's the thing -- you can't really hold on to it. Just a big hand full of the cellulite that aging (and, um, booze) has deposited on my butt and really worry because 20 years from now I'm going to think I looked GOOD now.

Peace!

The Notorious O.L.D.