The LBD

The LBD is the fashion mag term for little black dress. The LBD has long been the bane of my existence. I know (because I am told by fashion mags -- that addiction is subject for some other blog) how important it is to have one. There's generally at least one occasion per year where the LBD will come in handy.

I don't have the LBD.

It's not for lack of trying. But, my shape doesn't really suit the stereotypical LBD mold, so my search to find one usually winds up in tears, tantrums and tirades. Not always in that order. This is generally followed by an explicit promise to myself to begin dieting and/or working out asap. Which is followed by a bingeing experience to comfort myself with carbs. But, moving away from the story at my weekly Overeaters Anonymous meeting... The short version is that my lack of LBD is not for lack of trying.

Yet another event arises where I am in need of the LBD. I go out wearing the proper underwear and set forth with a determined air. I will try on every single blessed LBD in my size in the ladies' formal wear department or die of dehydration trying... I will not overlook something just because I'm sure it won't look right. You just never know. It's time to put this problem to rest once and for all. This is ridiculous. Surely there must be something that isn't just awful.

I managed to find many more LBD's in my size than I was used to. I was pleasantly surprised. I pulled on the first dress expecting the inevitable too tight combined with too loose that is my usual experience in this matter. But no, it was the perfect fit. Flattering scoop neckline with a delicate bow in the cleavage area. Low cut enough to give a hint but not so low cut that I was giving away my family secret. (I'll give it away here -- my bra is heavily padded!) Waist cinched in just enough to be defining but almost immediately flaring back out to an A-line skirt. A-line combined Empire! What a dream! The length was perfect too. Well past the knee but not floor length -- perfect for showcasing some cute shoes to match. I had found my LBD.

And I left the LBD in the store without buying it.

Because it was boring. Really boring. It's a little black dress, for God's sake. It would need LOTS of dolling up to make it work. Colored earrings and necklace and awesome shoes and that may kick it up a notch. Snore... Seriously, I couldn't believe how incredibly boring this thing was that I had always desired to have. Is it always like this? Expectation completely crushed by reality? How friggn' fair is that??

I wound up with black sparkly palazzo pants that I may just have to wear with my bra to the next big event. Maybe I could glue feathers on my bra to spice it up!

Screw you LBD -- I've out-smarted you!