Things that Bamboozle me

I don't know how to put my hair into one of those super-sleek and smooth ponytails. [Sidenote: am I the only one who thinks that smooth should have an e on the end of it?] Actually, up-do's in general are the bane of my existence, but particularly ponytails. Every time I see one of those when it's done like grown-ups it just makes me want to do that. But, mine are either too high or too low and NEVER that smooth without a lot of really obvious product. Maybe it's because I color or have lots of cowlicks, not to mention that I don't even like my face enough to have it that exposed so I'm not sure why I want it that much.

Also, why isn't there some kind of fool-proof way to figure out how you would look with bangs without having to commit to them?

Moving on... Why can't I just accept that I am a plus-size girl and move on with my life? I am tired of beating myself up about it and yet still not doing anything about it. I just need to get on ONE plan and be done with it. Seriously. Right now, it's a clothing issue more than anything else. It's next to impossible to find clothes in my actual size. There are plenty of things that are supposed to be designed for my size, but they're always either too big or too small or too... not right! And I am in the wrong zone -- I'm in a size that too big to be able to find a lot of clothes in a regular person's store and too small to have a decent collection in a big girl's store. Which is REALLY frustrating. I truly am a freak -- too big to be skinny but too skinny to be big. I want a store that's designed JUST for people like me -- the in-between market.

However, according to most manufacturers there apparently aren't many of us out there -- because the stores only seem to ever have but a scant few 14's, but hundreds of 10's. HUNDREDS. Where are these girls hiding out? There are clothes for them EVERYWHERE. In fact, if I could afford liposuction, all I would really want is to get sucked down to a size 10 and medium shirts. I would be set for life. Seriously. And the stuff would be cheap as shit too. Because they have so much of it, they're usually giving it away. Whereas I almost never buy anything on sale, because if I wait for the sale it will be gone gone gone.

Another confounding fact of life is men and the princess thing. Was indulging in some Newlyweds tonight and Nick used the word camaraderie and Jessica didn't know what it meant. Seriously, are you friggin' kidding me? I mean, it's a known fact that she's not a genius and that she is DEFINITELY a princess. Scott jokingly (I hope) compares me to her frequently, especially when I'm acting rather princess-like. But the fact is that Nick loves that girl more than anyone ever could and it's the same with Scott and me. So, do they want the princess but just like to bitch about it? Do they like it BECAUSE they get to bitch about it?? I don't get it.


Anyways, had my first team meeting today with my new team and my new boss. I'll just leave it that it's going to be really interesting. I may have LOTS more material in the coming weeks... We'll all be together officially this Monday.

That's about all I've got tonight. Heading out of town to bond with the B-maids this weekend and find them some dresses and stuff.

If only I could find a dress for ME that I really liked! :)

HP