Telling it like it is since 1973

The fact of the matter is that I DO tell it like it is. Or at least, as I see it. This is probably where Scott and I are the MOST alike, which is the hardest part of being in a relationship. Because if you do not want to know what I think, then don't ask. And I'm much more extreme about it, because frankly I'm pretty bad about telling you what I think even if you don't ask -- though I have tried to temper that as I get older.

But, many people ask me for advice throughout the day and the week and my life and I give it. And I don't sugarcoat it. Ever. If you wanted candy coating, you would have been eating M&M's, not talking to me. And it's just that simple.

But I'm thinking I'm going to start revamping my balls to wall advice and I'm going to shorten it to this: Choose to be happy, no matter what.

The fact is that choosing to do things that will make you happy in the LONG run is seldom easy in the SHORT run. But, really -- which would you rather have? I'm saying if you have tried everything to make something work, then draw the line somewhere and stick to it. It's the lines in the sand that will get you every time.

Scott complains to me about his mom and she complains to me about him. I implore them both to try to talk to each other and work things out and they don't/can't/won't. Frankly, I can't make things better for you if you don't want to work it out. I have tried to explain to both of them what I think the problems are and it's like I'm talking to the wall. My work neighbor complains about her husband and her kids and issues them ultimatums that she doesn't follow through with. It's never going to change because they know that it doesn't have to!

I am NOT naive -- I know that things and situations and people don't change overnight and sometimes not at all. But the fact is that if you work on it hard enough you CAN change how you react to the situation. You can. Because you do not have to choose to put y ourself in a position to be affected adversely by people that make you unhappy. Or you can choose to explain to people that make you unhappy WHY they make you so unhappy -- so what if it's awkward? It's not like it was so great before. People can and will surprise you every friggin day by doing things that you didn't expect them to do.

Raise the bar! Expect more! If you're disappointed, so what? Is THAT the worst thing that's ever happened to you??

Well, good for you then. Good for you. Because if being disappointed is the worst thing you've ever had to suffer then you have had a very good life indeed.

HP