The Heather & Julia Short Phone Call Rules
Feel free to adopt for your own purposes...

1. And this is key -- if you have only a set amount of time, inform your call-ee ahead of time that this is the amount of time you have left. This sets a time limit on your phone call in advance, so there is a reduced amount of tension when the phone call needs to end. For example, I am driving home from work (Patrick used to refer to this as my "book on tape" time), and this takes roughly 20 minutes. Julia frequently calls when she is waiting for the train. Sometimes I think she waits until she waits until she sees the train coming down the track, but I'm trying not to be bitter.... Which leads to the next rule.

2. Don't be bitter about the times your friend is calling for a short call. Short calls are better than no calls and really help fill your long-distance friends on the minutia of your life. You waste this short amount of time allotted if you complain about the amount of time that your friend has allotted. It leads to drifting friendships and longer phone calls to catch up and let's face it -- if we had time for long phone calls, we'd be using it for something else. (Long catch up calls are good for long car trips. Really the only benefit to taking long car trips by ones self is the long catch up.) So, focus on how good it is to hear from your friend.

3. So, now that we know it's a short call, because the time line has been laid out and we know that our friend loves us to take this five to twenty minutes of his/her life to call us, then we should try to focus on dividing the time equitably. Try not to let Heather dominate, as she is prone to do. The person with the most prattle rules and vignettes ALWAYS lead. (Like, I really have to tell you guys about the time that the guys stole the prescription drugs from my mom's house and then his dad drove him all the way back from Newport News to apologize -- CRAZY!) Anyone who has recently had houseguests, travelled or had a fight with their significant other also gets precedence.

4. And then finally, this is really key -- the call is naturally going to be short and it gets cut off, then really -- don't call back. ESPECIALLY if you're only going to have a few minutes left to talk when you call back. If we're just talking about general weekend stuff, my drive home from class, your laundry is done, whatever -- don't call back. It's okay. Exceptions to this rule are: if you are in the middle of an important discussion topic (like the fight you had with your significant other or something major medical or whatever), if you are having a disagreement, but the most important one is if the call ends with any form of OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO... Get robbed, get hit by the train, give birth, whatever.

Well, maybe not give birth because that's pretty obvious, but you see where I'm going. Calls can drop -- more bars in more places doesn't mean your bars always match up.

Anyways, those are the rules. Subject to be adjusted at any time.

big hugs,

me

OH -- I'll try to put up the weekend in C'ville pix soon, promise.