Oh my freaking God I am almost done with Physics.

Whenever people in my class learn that I am not taking the next class, they always ask why I am not required to take the next level? I explain that I did not even have to take THIS level, but that I am an idiot.

It's perplexing being an idiot in most situations, but in Physics it's a tragicomedy. Especially since the teacher will ask us if we understand and then tell us that of course we do and move on to the next thing.

Why did I take Physics? Because I don't like to cut things up, I am really bad at Chemistry and I think Earth Science is boring.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have chosen to be bored.

But I don't, because I'm leaving and heading for VA Wesleyan in the Spring to work on my grown up degree. Woo hoo!

And next semester I'm not taking anything that could even remotely be mistaken for a lab science. Not even in a dark alley in a bad neighborhood. I'm taking Organizational Psychology and Buddhist Philosophy.

Don't you love the yen/yang of it?? Does Organizational Psych get less zen than Buddhism? It's basically the antithesis of Buddhism, I think. I think it's going to be a good contrast. Plus, this is my first toe dunk in to a 300 level class. Something I believe I am completely unprepared for, but who knows? I may surprise myself.

Then again, I seldom do. :)

Actually, this whole going to grown up school is pretty funny because when you look at me on paper from back in the day (aka my JMU transcript), I really look like a drop-out burner/loser. My GPA worked out to be like 1.5 or something horrific like that. My VWC advisor was praising me on how proud I should be of what I have accomplished in my adult college career. I mean, it just doesn't seem like she should be talking about me.

I was an honor grad, for pity's sake. I took AP classes. Who is this loser with the shit GPA we're talking about? Hard to believe it was me. Hard to believe that I look like that on paper. It just goes to show, I think, that it really doesn't matter what those numbers look like -- they tell nothing of the person behind them. No one who met that girl would have ever believed that she was capable of being like that.

But, she was -- I was. But, I still can't reconcile it.

And this is where it gets a little wrapped up... I think that people who have known me since I was that girl still see that in me. Still see that girl who made those mistakes and who let her life fall in to someone else's hands and gave it away. Someone that it never would have seemed possible. It's hard not to see myself that way sometimes. It's hard to accept that I am a different person now -- a person that I wish that girl could have met and learned from.

Boy, all this rambling ain't gonna cut it at the 300 level... :)