fat
No one ever likes to use this word. But the fact is that I have gotten fat. And I don't want to be fat anymore.
So, tonight I took the plunge and I joined Weight Watchers. Paid for 10 meetings in advance, so I really don't have an excuse not to go.
I'm really nervous. I've never really lost weight on purpose before. Once I started gaining, that's all I did. I may have gained slower or plateaued, but this was almost entirely by accident. I have gone on diets briefly, but I never have the willpower to stay on them. And really, I don't believe in diets. If you eat only cabbage soup for a week, yes you will lose weight. But as soon as you start eating food that tastes good again, up up up and away you go.
I had major surgery back in 2000 and this is the most weight I ever lost since I started gaining. The stayed off for a while, but then I had a break-up and I took it really hard. Then I was in a relationship and I got really comfortable. After that ended, I plateaued for a long time. But, then I got in this relationship, and I'm very comfortable and relaxed and gradually I've been climbing up. I don't blame Scott -- though I doubt he believes that -- because he did not tie me down and put food in my mouth.
Honestly, I have always battled with low self-esteem. Gaining weight and keeping it on has given me a reason to feel bad about myself. I feel very protective of the weight and very anxious of the work I'm going to have to do to get rid of it. This is because I have low self-esteem -- I do not think I am capable of doing this. But, I am tired of thinking this way. I AM capable of doing this. It's not like it's rocket surgery or brain science.
Anyways, Weight Watchers is interesting -- you really learn the value of what you are choosing to eat. And basically, if you choose to eat less, then you're going to lose weight. If you choose to eat smarter, you're going to lose weight. I mean, I'm not an idiot. But, going to a group meeting every week and having to face that scale -- it's going to have to motivate me.
But, we'll find out. Perhaps I can add a Bridget Jonesesque tagline: points eaten 20, tears cried 1000000 or something along those lines.
Wish me luck in my journey -- I need all the help I can get.
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6 comments:
You go girl ; - )
And verily I say also unto thee: You go! :)
You raise an interesting point you know, and as I think about it actually might be a nice paper for your psych class this semester. The point I mean is, that behavior change is really really hard - they say it takes 21 days to start a habit, and that's stuff we WANT to do! But the kicker is, according to current theory, if you don't think you CAN do it, its just that much harder.
That's why when they tell us all the stuff about behavioral interventions, they always say you have to give people the SKILLS to do what it is you want them to do. You can tell people to "eat healthy" until you are blue in the face but if it takes less time and less money to eat junk food that tastes really good, well there aren't always easy ways to change that behavior then are there?? You have to give people the skills, so they can feel a little thing called self-efficacy, which everyone needs, but almost no one has.
I think WW will be a great way to get this. Don't forget that it isn't just about the motivation of knowing you have to face that scale each week. Its also about obtaining the skills to make what you want happen. Motivation + efficacy = the world, baby, the world.
Luv ya Bridge -
Add a third "You GO girl!" to the list.
WW is really a great program. It's not complicated, and you really are satisfied. Love those 0 point foods!
Rosebud -- Aww, thanks!
K -- there are no papers in Psych! Bwa ha ha! And I am not going to volunteer to write one either! At least not until I know what self-efficacy means. ;-)
Catt -- 0 points foods are mostly vegetables and in case you did not know: I'm not a fan. We'll see.
Don't you eat pickles?
And you can get your veggies in lots of ways, without even tasting them.
I have a great recipe for a 2 pt. moon pie type thing. Let me know if you need ideas!
No, Catt, I don't eat pickles because I'm not the pregnant one. Is it so far along that you forgot? :)
Actually, most of my calories come from liquid -- squished grapes, to be exact -- so, I have a sneaky feeling that cutting out a lot of that is likely to cure a lot of the problem. But, we will see.
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