What a Week I'm having... (5 points: what movie is this from?)

I don't even remember the order of some of these events...

One day I'm getting dressed for work and as I'm struggling into one of my favorite pairs of jeans (favorite meaning "pair that still fits") they EXPLODED off of me. Not just ripped, explosed. They were barely hanging by a thread by the time they were done. Nothing like a debilitating experience to start your day with. While I recognize that on some levels this probably happened because the jeans weren't of THE highest quality, I have no choice but to acknowledge that the real reason this probably happened is because of my repeated cramming of my cellulite into the jeans -- despite their protests to stop. After I changed clothes and got to work, I managed to dribble coffee all over the front of white sweater.

And inauspicious beginning to anyone's day.

Later on in the week, I got into a heated discussion with a customer about his bill. I tried to explain his billing to him, and how he hadn't even made a payment on the item he was claiming to have been overcharged for. When I explained this to him, he said he understood what I was saying but still didn't believe me. Asked to speak to my manager, who had already been listening to the call. He then proceeded to tell my manager that I had called the man a cracker. That's right -- a cracker. Apparently, the fact that I am also a "cracker" had somehow escaped his notice. Perhaps he was just trying to come up with a slur and redneck slipped his mind. Not sure. But, that was definitely one of the funniest things to happen to me in a long time...

Also, this week I managed to somehow get involved in 45 minutes of beratement from a woman who would make Leona Helmsley look like Mother Theresa. Every word out of her mouth was condescending and insulting -- not only to the company that I work for but also to me. Forty-five minutes of my life that I will never get back. And while at the end of the day, I managed to satisfy her requests and even get her to calm down sufficiently, she never apologized for her attitude (as many irate customers are often wont to do) -- which led me to believe that was her attitude all the time.

I've also been repeatedly dealing with Mr Krazy. Mr Krazy has a very high-pitched way of getting upset about things -- which is kind of funny in its frustration. Every time I have to give him yet another condition of issue for his policy, he will start freaking out before he even hears the "but" part. I've tried to figure out how to deliver the but part before the if part -- but haven't quite narrowed that down.

In other news, I got to meddling in people's lives again and managed to set up two of my co-workers. And the mad drama that ensued for the first 12 hours of this was something straight out of 90210. I swear I haven't been witness to this much drama since I was in high school passing artfully folded notes. He can't like me, he likes you. Why did I even come out here? Why didn't you just say you liked him and he liked you? OH, he does like me? When is going to call/write/email/carrier pigeon a note? Oy to the vey -- calm down. It's like I tried to tell the dear girl -- this is the part that is fun. It's the delicious agony of knowing that you're both interested and enjoying the flirting. The sooner you try to get to the next chapter, the sooner you settle into... well, being settled. I'm not really trying to down being settled, but once you get there you always look back fondly on the early flirty days.

... Our narrator flashes back... When Scott and I FIRST started dating, he stopped by my house unexpectedly one night while I was studying for my licensing exam. We hadn't even had our first "official" date yet. I was literally tickled pink. It's those little surprises that are so much more common at the beginning of the dating that make the whole thing SO much fun and make all the bs with other bad dating experiences worth it....

Anyways, Friday night we went out for nice dinner and then saw Seinfeld. He was SO funny. I mean, who didn't know that he wouldn't be? But even funnier than that. I really thought I was going to blow a blood vessel in my brain from laughing so hard.

Saturday? Why, that was the sex toy party in the trailer park with my friend and Scott's co-worker whom I barely know and the two lesbians presenting the items. That was pretty bizarre. I mean, I had fun -- who doesn't have fun shopping for sex toys? -- but it was still pretty awkward. I felt bad for Scott's co-worker hosting the party, since she clearly invited a lot more people who decided not to show. Which I can't imagine why not, frankly. I'm not really incredibly kinky, though I like to pretend I am, but I'm all about trying new stuff. Aren't you?

And that's it. You're all caught up. We can now go back to our somewhat shorter blogging tales...

H.