2nd post

I get a little vain sometimes about my writing. It's one of the reasons I have always kept some form of journal. Actually, my blog is pretty journally, just a lot more censored. (Can you imagine that this shit is being censored? Not for cuss words, obviously.)

It's just so interesting to me to go back and read things that I wrote a couple of years ago. Sometimes I have a way of voicing how I feel about things that doesn't even seem to come out of me. I certainly don't usually talk the way I write. It feels good to be able to turn a phrase that absolutely captures the meat of what I want to say...

Like this from August of 2003: So, I'm disturbed. I've built an empire on my own voice and my feelings about it and now I'm realizing that this may be a large reason why I'm drifting away from friends and having a hard time developing new friendships. My utter attachment to me and my belief that everything I have to say is completely fascinating. Because, you know what? It's not.

It's kind of sad that I still feel that way. Still can't seem to overcome my own obnoxiousness to get over myself. It's not that I don't like me, it's just that I need to be a little less interested in me and a lot more engaged in other people.

Reminds me of one of my favorite drunken "spats" (if you can even call it that) with the Librarian. We were at a party and there were only a handful of people there that we knew. The group we came with was ready to roll but the Librarian was DEEPLY involved in a conversation with someone at this party and was pretty torqued off that we wanted to just leave. Because Heather, she said to me, she is another human being. She has thoughts and ideas and it's wrong to just walk aways like that doesn't matter.

Dude, it was a party. It was time to party on -- was basically my response.

Anyways, need to get more involved with those human beings and their thoughts and ideas.

What do you think?