Blogger Seeks New Local BFF...


A spot is opening up for the coveted role of Local BFF to the Queen Lee.

The applicant must love wine to excess, must smoke whenever drinking (even if it means bumming cigarettes off of strangers), must have a high tolerance for whining, must make inappropriate jokes when you are sad in a mad effort to cheer you up and bring you back to Earth, must have a love of shoes that rivals even Carrie Bradshaw, drink frilly drinks solely out of dedication to Sex and the City, must have the patience of Job and the humor of Janeane Garaofolo and Carole Burnett and Carole Kane and even Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep and who am I forgetting... To knowing who I am forgetting... This girl must have an endearing gap in her front teeth that she frequently exposes when we are roaring with laughter together. A mind-boggling ability to do crossword puzzles and be a Spades fiend and read big thick books in restaurants while dining alone (with a damned LIME, not a lemon in her glass of water thankyouverymuch)... The ability to be both alone and present all at one time... To always be at the press of one magic stiletto-shaped Wonder Woman speed dial button... #4... 4 because when you need information, it starts with 411. This applicant will see you cry and make you laugh and sometimes at the same time.

This petitioner is a needy girl but the applicant who is leaving the post is leaving some pretty big knee-high sexy boots to fill.

And, on a serious note, to thank you my former local BFF -- I have to let you go. I have to wish you well because that's the only way I can return to you the wonderful gift you have given me. The gift of the way that I have gotten to know myself only the way you see me. I love the me that I am when we are together and thank you so much for instilling a confidence in myself I never knew I had. You made me trust myself -- how can I ever repay you for that?



Oy, to end all the weep fest -- I now present you with the perfect picture that captures the essence of the applicant who has been my local BFF...

Shiny

As most people who have ever stayed over night in our house know, our cat Baby Girl (fka Josie) likes to hunt shiny things.

She finds the shiny thing and then "roars" over it to let all the other cats in the house kingdom know that she is a bad ass and not to be messed with. Or so Scott thought.

But over the last couple of years, this devotion to shiny things has turned into a devotion for black shiny shoes. Specifically MY black shiny shoes. Only black and only with some sheen. I believed that this was related to a separation anxiety over a litter she may have had and had to give up.

Then I realized that she is in fact turned into a shoe diva.

First, she started by capturing an old pair of water shoes that I purchased when I had a misguided notion I was going to take a water aerobics class. Then, she moved on to a pair of ballet like flats that are casual but dressy. Recently however she decided that she needed to present a more business like demeanor and started showing a preference for a pair of black loafer I have. (The buckles apparently still fulfilling the shiny requirement.) But, now she has gone too far. A few days ago, in the spot where she normally leaves her "babies", she had dropped off one of my Etienne Aigner shoes! I mean, I got them on sale and it's not Manola Blahnik but it's as close to designer I'm ever going to get.

The girl has gone diva and we are going to throw down! I appreciate your love for shiny girl but you better recognize!