Here's something I never expected... It really makes feel weird the way people react to me losing weight. It's becoming more noticeable (I would hope so, since it's almost 40 pounds now), but it's strange how people react. Mostly as though my weight loss were some kind of statement about where they were in their own weight loss journey.
If I had had bunches of smoker friends when I severely cut back on smoking, I think I would have some expectation that this was going to happen. People feel judged because they think you are commenting on their own limitations, even though you're not. I'm not.
I know how hard it is to start fixing your bad habits. I had to get pretty far into the 2's before I realized that. I didn't want to watch my portions and I didn't want to eat more fruits and vegetables. I didn't want to bring my lunch to work every day. And I damned well didn't want to exercise.
I didn't want to change.
And I know I probably reacted to other people changing in a similar way to how people react to me. That's weird too.
There's a woman at work who was going to go with me to WW a while back and wound up changing her mind. Now whenever I go up to say hello to her, if she is eating anything she tries to explain why she's eating it. Explains why she isn't going to a meeting this week. Whatever. I don't get it. If you're not ready, you're not ready.
Even when people are happy for me, their happy comments are generally followed with, "I know, I need to do something..." Or the newly popular, "I think you're sending it my way." Come on now, is that right?
Does anyone care how hard it is to stay motivated to keep losing weight when I can't even drop a pants size??
Let me say this once -- I have lost weight, this is not a comment about you. I mean, seriously -- have you met me? Don't you know it's all about me???
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3 comments:
sometimes when you see people who are at different stages of change it reminds you or inspires you to remain on your track...SO when I said I was still trying that was not meant to be a reflection of my journey or yours...I didn't expect any response really it was just a statement of fact...You are still trying aren't you?
For someone who likes attention so much you fight an awful lot about it when you get it;)
Lala
You go girl ; - )
Lala -- One of the reasons I didn't want to put this out there was because I was in fact writing, in part, about the comment that you made. It's hard to explain, but I just don't know how to deal with being recognized for the good things I have done. I like to bring attention to myself, but I like to control the attention that I receive. One of the hardest things about being me has always been "the Heather Show." Because I am so often putting on the Show, people think that that is who I am and often do not realize that there is a whole other layered person underneath that. It's a self-esteem thing, to be sure. If I can put on this show of the shiny, confident person then no one will have to see all of the insecurities beneath it and will leave me alone to deal with them however I see fit.
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