6pm Saturday’s (Saturdays??)

you know that song from Sleepless in Seattle? It’s 4 o’clock in the morning...  pause for YouTube search...


https://youtu.be/MiPUv4kXzvw

Only mine seems to perpetually be -

Dinner times on Saturdays.

We seem to have an abundance of food and love to share ...

Come and get your Lee ❤️🥰

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WARNING

I am in a delightful phase of a slight role shift in my company.  Having a new team and new boss, etc.

Of course, the Full Heather Jacket experience is totally new to them, so as usual - they either love it or they hate it.  Or perhaps they are indifferent, who knows?

  And I've been intermittently keeping this blog and that other blog off and on and off and on for 16 years or more.  Crazy 

I've been toying with the idea of airing them out.  I have so many random ideas that I like to think through and it would be cool to store them here and maybe even reference back to flesh out the ideas?

Joan Didion story on

John Gregory Dunne

And of course - Toni Morrison

So many writers featured this weekend.  And I love writing stories about my life.  I just heard a "fun fact" about how the Irish love to tell stories -- ah, ha!  It is literally in my genetic make-up!

Anyway.  Writing.  Blogging.  Whatever.  It's all been coming up and I've been thinking about it again.  I miss journaling.  And blogging.  And long rambling pointless internet holes.

Before facebook and twitter and trump ruined our everything.

I just want a moratorium on talking about him, although I'm sure I won't be able to.

I have a lovely chat with some lovely folks about politics and differences and polarization.  I'm guilty of this myself in many ways.  I don't mean to shun Republicans, though I know I do.  My friend says - what difference does it make?  She says, I'm going to think and believe what I do, and he is going to do the same.  So, who cares?

She says this at the same time she is saying that someone didn't want to go on date with her because she posted a slightly liberal comment in her bio. 

So, I say, this person is a Republican and he won't hang out with you because his views are different than yours, but you don't see what difference that makes???

Listen.  I applaud this level of political maturity.  Other friends have said this about trying to hook their moms up to friend each other.  I expressed surprise since they're so different politically.  They roll their eyes at my _____ ...  Narrow mindedness, maybe?  Too much Facebooky-ness?  I forget that we used to just get along with people who felt differently than we did about political matters.

And yeah, I miss that.  I'm not sure how I could ever be that way again...  Certainly worth thinking about.


Anyway.  This weekend is Harper's birthday weekend.  6 years old.  Crazy town.  Tina invited me to tag along with Harper and three of her little girl friends.  SO fun.  I dressed over the top because -- well, you already know why.  And the girls were 4 different personality types, and that was SUPER fun to watch.  Two sisters.  One VERY extroverted and the other not introverted, but just resigned to not talking as much as her sister.  I complained too much, as I do, but Tina was awesome.  Wrangling the kids, going in and out with attentiveness with purpose.  Getting my wine.  :D

All right.  It's late.  I'm signing off to listen to some music and wind down for bed.

Hey you guys I remembered I have a blog again!

It's like Groundhog Day -- I feel like I'm finally breaking free of the spell, but it starts out weirdly reminiscent of how the curse began....   Until you realize that the world outside is different and that you really do have ALL of the chances you thought you'd lost.

Surviving traumatic life events.  It's something I'm getting to be kind of good at.  To the point where I am SERIOUSLY not fun at parties, but somehow in a "she was totally fun!" kind of way.  2018 really underscored my ability to survive and grow and adapt as a person.

And the one thing I know is -- you absolutely cannot teach this skill to people, because in order to have it you have to go through your own trauma.  "Wisdom is not communicable."  It's still fun, though, feeling all of the pieces of the lessons that other people TRIED to teach to me fall into place.

We were at our favorite New Year's Party, and I fell into the Narcissistic Well of The Story of 2018.  I regret that, and I don't at the same time.  I saw people I hadn't seen in a long time who seemed genuinely interested in hearing about my/our year and frank -- there just isn't a SHORT version of 2018 to sharely
We started in a dark and dreary and cold place.  The city was covered in snow and ice and cabin fever was already at a fever pitch (my timehop shows jokes about The Shining and admitting I have never actually SEEN The Shining).  But the pain and discomfort and lack of sleep that my husband was experiencing was what amplified the intensity of that cabin fever and what set the year on its journey of medical drama and trauma... 

Which you can read about whenever my book finally comes out.  :)

Love this time of year when it's coupled with good weather.  I know we have no control over those weather cycles, so I just try to lean into how happy the nice weather makes me feel and jam out.

My personal theme for 2019 is come and get your love!  I love that song and truly -- it's how I'm embracing 2019.  I'm ready to start sprucing up this old Lee Family Estate (and maybe share some of that on this here dusty old blog) and doing some kooky stuff.  I'm auditioning for a play in about a week  -- it'll be nerve-wracking fun.

But FUN!  <3 p="">