Friday, April 27, 2007

Off work today and procrastinating on working on my research paper. It's actually become my new hobby -- procrastinating on writing my paper. Sigh. It's not going to write itself and I just don't care that much. I think if I could figure out why I don't care, I'd have a better chance of sitting down and writing it.

It's painful. Extrapolating the information from various sources, documenting and quoting them accurately, fine tuning them into my own words... I know once I really commit to getting started, it will be fine and I'll get through it and be proud of the work I did. But, in the meantime, I'd rather read old blogs and shop for cars on the internet and watch all of my tivo stuff and think about going shopping.

My favorite part is that the topic I chose for my paper is effects of stress in the work place. I'm trying to put my arms around the world and narrow it down into bite size pieces, aka paragraphs.

And it's sunny and beautiful and I don't have to work today and the thought of giving up my weekend to write this paper plunges me in to sadness.

Okay, that was super melodramatic even for me.

I've embarrassed myself into going and starting. Wish me luck.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

More pictures....

Some pictures from the Sertoma Spring Fever event (because I know how much you prefer to look at pictures, Julia)

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Left work early today feeling kind of generally poopy and headachey. Not feeling loads better but tomorrow is Sertoma and since that's drunk Christmas, I've got to suck it up.

Ah, Sertoma. It's somewhat how I imagine Heaven to be -- a tent full of top shelf alcohol, trucks of beer and wine, a band playing 70's dance music and all the people watching a voyeur like me can handle. It's awesome. Or at least it always seems awesome in retrospect.

So, that's the biggest thing.

In minor household drama, Scott's exgirlfriend has asked him to consider to "taking custody" of her cat because she's moving to Hawaii and for whatever reason can't take him with her. This is the cat that made Scott want to have a cat and there's no way that I could have/would have said no. Still, it will be weird having another woman's cat around. This is probably the closest I will ever feel to what it's like to be a step mom, huh? Don't know the details or even if it will definitely happen, but it's just weird. Soon we will have two cats and a dog. And maybe all that pet menagerie and a baby. Oy! I have always been pretty opposed to three cats because I think it's pretty downhill from there, but it is what it is and I can't say no.

I have a couple of days off next week and in between I'm in training for my new job. It's so long until I move over to be with my new team that it feels like it's not even going to happen. It's a bit surreal.

That's all for now, I'm off to bed.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Here's some of what's been going on... Can't remember if I wrote about any of this.

I had this sudden sense of sadness about not doing a better job of keeping track of time passing. I read back to my wrap up for 2003 and I thought, look at all that stuff I remembered. And it was nice looking back and being able to remember again all that stuff. It kind of made it feel like I wasn't just slipping through life. That I was creating something. Even if it was only a circle of memories that only mattered to me.

So, here's as much as I can remember about 2007 (and maybe even late 2006 because who knows how long I have drifted off...) --

In no particular order...

I started VA Wesleyan College. I think I wrote about this. It's really not like I thought it would be and yet even better than I expected. I really enjoy my Buddhist Philosophy class and the Organizational Psych isn't too bad. The campus is really pretty, I think, and even though I'm not religious for some reason I appreciate this aspect of the school. Weird, don't tell Tina. :)
I like that the philosophy class makes me think -- I enjoy getting in that zone. Even though it's very foreign to me. I feel like my brain is this muscle that could really do something if only I exercised it.

Things at work are going pretty good. In January, I met with one of the Senior managers and she was just getting a feel for why people who had applied for Senior in the past hadn't applied again. And if we would , etc. It wasn't directed specifically at me but it still made me feel special. I applied for the job, she coached me and I faked some confidenced and got the job.

The Confidence Revolution is really starting to swell in my house. It started with Scott. There was a job he really wanted. He sent them his resume and this really strong cover letter that we worked really hard on. Basically outlining how he was perfect for this job even though his resume really didn't spell it out. Well, they never called. And he just got this incredible rush of I don't know what and called them. That wasn't really the courageous part, because lots of people call after not hearing anything when sending in their resume. It was really what he said, which was just reiterating that while he realized that his resume wasn't exactly what they were looking for, it didn't make sense to pay to keep publishing an ad and yet not letting him come in and talk to them in person. After all, there was no charge to talk to him and who knew what they were missing? What was the worst thing that could happen? They were looking for someone to fill the position anyways. It worked. Well, he got the interview but then not the job... Oh well, got a better job anyways. Which he negotiated more money out of because of his confidence.

Nothing better than looking for a job when you've got a job.

He's doing great. Lost half of his old self almost. It's so strange watching him disappear. I can't even remember what it was like before this. In many ways as I can't really remember my life before he was in it. I think because we're both only children, we have this weird way of understanding each other's quirks. I know when you want to be alone and I know when you want to be with people. I don't always respect that, but I do know it.

Charlie Bear has been growing up... We do the best we can for him, but I am not the world's best mother. I don't walk him as much as I should or bathe him as much as we need. Still, he is a really well-behaved dog for being a puppy. That's all Scott's doing.

We haven't gotten to play Spades with Tina and Ryan as much this year as I had hoped. But I'm never going to be able to count cards, so my game playing has just levelled off. I understand it's a valuable skill but it just takes away the fun as far as I'm concerned. Where's the sense of fun and just dumb luck? I guess that's why I still get a kick out of Egyptian Rat Screw -- just dumb luck with a little bit of violence for fun.

We started playing kickball. I'm sure once it's not 40 and windy when we're playing it's going to be a LOT of fun, but right now it's just a lot of whining and crying and some occasional drinking. I really like the people though, they're fun good times. Can't see having a heart to heart with them over Italian, but that's not what this is about.

Been trying to go in early and work out. Have been successful 5 times in the last 3 weeks. It is SO hard. It's mostly because I have to get everything ready the night before exactly right because I can't get up early enough to do it right in the morning. I really want to sleep but I really don't want to be fat anymore. It's a big struggle because boy do I miss sleep.

Okay, I'm at that distinct period where I need to get ready for tomorrow or I'm going to sleep in and feel guilty all day... So, here I go.

I am starting to have an appreciation of the memories, so maybe that means I'll pop in more often. I think it's Julia -- she inspires me to write by talking about it. I'm really glad she's back here. I don't want to take anything away from my other friends because I love them too -- but there's just something so specific that I get from Julia that I can't seem to get anywhere else. It's weird. I think sometimes that's what love is.

Good night!

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