Okay. So, if you have a "friend" who is part of posting the insanity about this conspiracy against people protesting the isolation.... Do you comment on said friend's post? Do you continue to promulgate these beliefs by NOT bothering to engage? I am genuinely confused.

Because there is no winning an argument with these people. What exactly do these morons think the government has to GAIN by "keeping them locked up"? If people are not working, then unemployment should be paid to those to whom it is due -- and the state is on the hook for that. The state is earning FAR less in dining/meal taxes with so many more people eating at home. So, please explain to me in the teeny tiny words you know how to use, what exactly does the government have to gain from keeping you "locked in."

Your "right" to protest is sure, yes -- but you are protesting a measure that was put in place for you and your family's safety. For the safety of the community at large. What benefit does ANYONE have in saying this? What is the conspiracy here? Your right to protest does not give you the RIGHT to endanger other people's lives. And if your boy trump is the be all, end all that you say he is - isn't HE the government? Doesn't he have this god-like power to just "open the economy" *(like it is some magic box)?

And also -- where was all of this intense interest and commitment to the right to protest when football players were taking the knee? And women were marching on Washington? Hmmm. I don't recall there being the same commitment to the protection to the right to protest then.

I'm pretty done with facebook these days and having to see such nutfucking idiocy. I can't ever post this for long but boy will it feel good

Inside Heather's Pandemic

I've been talking to my dear friend Julia far more than I had in a long time.  These things, these little things -- they are the silver linings of the Covid Times.  I think, that is just one of the myriad ways that I am getting through this.  And we talked about writing and ye olde blog and Julia said, you should write about it!

So, here I am.

To start in the middle-ish, I have been in therapy with the same therapist since 2014.  We'll just use her initials, LW.  I had a regular appointment with her at the on-set of the shelter in place orders.  Counseling is considered an essential service, so at that point we were still able to visit in person. It was St Patrick's Day, because I have a knack for making fun drinking holidays more fun by going to see my therapist on them.  We had just gotten our puppy Cash the Saturday before.  It was weird already to go to an in person appointment, and the office knew that and was working with insurance companies to discuss telehealth. Which, long story even longer, was how my next session with her was held.  Several failed technology goofs and frankly just off-topic personal reveling in this remarkably weird time we are all in.  ("these uncertain times" "these trying times") We had a nice chat/session.   My job as an at home call center rep intruded on our last appointment, and here (for those of you still reading, bless your heart!) is the point:  when the receptionist called me to reschedule the missed appointment, because of my history with LW, we had enough of a acquaintanceship to spar over dates.  She started suggesting follow up dates (for the appointment I scheduled on -- fun drinking day! -- May 5) and I responded that I didn't think I needed to schedule that many appointments in a row, that I was okay.  And she just paused and was like, well okay - good for you!  And I was like, yeah - that tracks.  If everyone else is freaking out, then the only way for me to not fit in would be to be okay. 

But,the truth is that I survive this time, because I have been a witness to a disease ravaging a person and taking away hope and tearing down my sanity brick by brick.  My husband had acute pancreatitis in 2018, and I was his sole family caregiver.  It officially started 12/23/17 and wasn't officially over until 7/18/18 when he had his last medical procedure done at Johns Hopkins' campus in DC.  Being on the outside of someone's ravaging illness for that amount of time is the norm for so many people that I can't help but wonder how those survivors are doing now in this?

I can't speak to that.  But my experience as a caregiving survivor of a horrible illness, while it gave me traumatic stress while it was happening -- it had the blessing of coming to an end.  And then, when it was really, really over -- things were the same, and yet they were very different. 

So, you see -- I've done my homework.  I've put in my time.  I know that this will pass and that change will come.  There is a very real chance that I will not like all of the change that comes, but there will also be things that I like that I won't expect.  It's a new day. 

work in progress....

6pm Saturday’s (Saturdays??)

you know that song from Sleepless in Seattle? It’s 4 o’clock in the morning...  pause for YouTube search...


https://youtu.be/MiPUv4kXzvw

Only mine seems to perpetually be -

Dinner times on Saturdays.

We seem to have an abundance of food and love to share ...

Come and get your Lee ❤️🥰

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WARNING

I am in a delightful phase of a slight role shift in my company.  Having a new team and new boss, etc.

Of course, the Full Heather Jacket experience is totally new to them, so as usual - they either love it or they hate it.  Or perhaps they are indifferent, who knows?

  And I've been intermittently keeping this blog and that other blog off and on and off and on for 16 years or more.  Crazy 

I've been toying with the idea of airing them out.  I have so many random ideas that I like to think through and it would be cool to store them here and maybe even reference back to flesh out the ideas?

Joan Didion story on

John Gregory Dunne

And of course - Toni Morrison

So many writers featured this weekend.  And I love writing stories about my life.  I just heard a "fun fact" about how the Irish love to tell stories -- ah, ha!  It is literally in my genetic make-up!

Anyway.  Writing.  Blogging.  Whatever.  It's all been coming up and I've been thinking about it again.  I miss journaling.  And blogging.  And long rambling pointless internet holes.

Before facebook and twitter and trump ruined our everything.

I just want a moratorium on talking about him, although I'm sure I won't be able to.

I have a lovely chat with some lovely folks about politics and differences and polarization.  I'm guilty of this myself in many ways.  I don't mean to shun Republicans, though I know I do.  My friend says - what difference does it make?  She says, I'm going to think and believe what I do, and he is going to do the same.  So, who cares?

She says this at the same time she is saying that someone didn't want to go on date with her because she posted a slightly liberal comment in her bio. 

So, I say, this person is a Republican and he won't hang out with you because his views are different than yours, but you don't see what difference that makes???

Listen.  I applaud this level of political maturity.  Other friends have said this about trying to hook their moms up to friend each other.  I expressed surprise since they're so different politically.  They roll their eyes at my _____ ...  Narrow mindedness, maybe?  Too much Facebooky-ness?  I forget that we used to just get along with people who felt differently than we did about political matters.

And yeah, I miss that.  I'm not sure how I could ever be that way again...  Certainly worth thinking about.


Anyway.  This weekend is Harper's birthday weekend.  6 years old.  Crazy town.  Tina invited me to tag along with Harper and three of her little girl friends.  SO fun.  I dressed over the top because -- well, you already know why.  And the girls were 4 different personality types, and that was SUPER fun to watch.  Two sisters.  One VERY extroverted and the other not introverted, but just resigned to not talking as much as her sister.  I complained too much, as I do, but Tina was awesome.  Wrangling the kids, going in and out with attentiveness with purpose.  Getting my wine.  :D

All right.  It's late.  I'm signing off to listen to some music and wind down for bed.